April 14

Happy Birthday Kuya Japtheth!

It’s my brother’s birthday and I can just picture my family going out to eat this weekend. Whether it be the Chinese buffet or Korean BBQ, there’s going to be some serious Filipino gathering happening. I’m looking forward to the weekend I get home. I get back the day after my dad’s birthday and I’m positive we’ll be celebrating it with all 20 of us (sometimes more). Sooo excited.

Did I ever tell you what happened to our roommate? Well, if you happen to like mice, you may not want to continue. Carlitos (maintenance guy) put mouse poison out for him. (I know, we’re not very good roommates… but he was eating our food). It had been a while and there was no dead mouse smell so I had forgotten about him. Then one day while I was out and about, Tarynn found the little guy dead right in front of our bathroom door. Thankfully Tarynn was the one to see it because if it were me, who knows what kind of terrifying screams I would of let out. She called Pancho (other maintenance guy) and he just picked it up by the tail and took him outside. And that was the end of our roommate.

Another thing I want to do is thank everyone for their prayers. Taking care of the girls has gotten easier. They still say that they miss Amanda, but they don’t turn on me anymore… at least not all of them at once. It just depends on the day I guess. One day there was this girl Kenia that was acting terrible. Her chore was to mop the room. She did a bad job and so I told her to do it again. I told her that if she had done it well the first time she wouldn’t have to do it again (haha…such a mom thing to say, right?) This was not what she wanted to hear and so she started yelling at me and giving me really bad attitude. She even told me that I should die. Her anger continued that night and she wouldn’t get into bed. I tried to punish her and did everything I could, but she still didn’t listen. Not only that, she was extremely disrespectful in all that she said and did. I finally ended up calling Maria Jose to deal with her because nothing I was doing worked. The next day, she was a lot better.

One day the kids are angry and the next day they love you with all they have. I’m learning what it means to really forgive and forget. I hear this all the time and I say that I forgive and forget someone‘s actions toward me, but then I look at these kids and how they forgive and forget. My idea of forgiving and forgetting is a lot different then theirs. Do I really forgive and forget? Or do I say that I do and leave the little hint of grudge? Do I secretly think that the person doesn’t deserve to be forgiven or that if I let it go it won’t be fair to me and that “justice” needs to be done? Would I want someone else to forgive me the way that I forgive others? Of course not. I need to actually let things go and realize that holding on to things doesn’t get back at the other person, it’s really hurting me. I admit that I’ve been angry at these kids and then for the next day I dwell on that anger and don’t give them the same attention I normally would. But now I think to myself, what’s the point? They’re over it. I’m the one that’s suffering. They’ve already put it in the past and they still love me after I yell at them. I need to learn a lesson from them. God tells us to forgive and forget for a reason. It heals us a lot quicker than grudges do. Leave the past in the past. Forgive and forget… but not like I forgive and forget. Forgive and forget like a child does.