March 9

Again with the sad moments… Maria gave me a letter telling me that I’m like a sister to her and that she loves me and that I’m always in her heart. She said that when I go, I have to tell everyone there about the Hogar and she said not to forget about her. She also said that I should study hard so that I can return someday to see her. I wanted to cry. I still have 3 months left! Am I ever going to see these kids again?? I don’t want to lose contact with them, but how am I going to do that when the kids are so far and they don’t exactly have a lot of internet or phone access. This is going to be very hard.

I had talked to one of the teachers at the high school and asked if she would come help kids at the Infa who couldn‘t read. She had done this program before, but stopped for some reason. The volunteer that took care of the Infa before had paid her $2.50 for each hour. She agreed to start it up again. I would do it, but my Spanish isn’t perfect and I can’t help the kids the way someone like her could. I told a few of the kids who couldn’t read to stay and I bribed them with lollipops. We waited and waited but she never showed up. Some of the kids really wanted her to come and I was really excited about it too. It was a huge disappointment for me when she never showed up. I’m hoping she just forgot because I’m not wanting to give up on this.

Um so in the middle of this blog, a little mouse decided to grace us with its presence. So now I’m here refusing to step off of my bed and Carlitos (works maintenance) searched for the mouse. After 5 minutes of searching, he decided that it wasn’t going to show up and that we’d have to call him if we see it again. So for now, Tarynn and I have a new little roommate.

March 4

I feel like I have lice crawling all over me. There are two new girls at the Infa and they’ve got some serious lice problems. Every time I combed through their hair with the lice comb that the group from Andrews gave us, 5 lice would fall out… sometimes more. I’m not exaggerating. The poor kids are scratching their heads all the time. So today, I shampooed their heads with lice shampoo. Usually kids squirm and protest, but these girls did it willingly. So now after shampooing their heads and combing through it, I feel like the lice have jumped onto my head. We’ve been taught the valuable from preschool that it’s good to share. I guess these kids haven’t forgotten.

Another special moment happened while I was scrubbing uniforms. Paola came up behind me and watched me for a little bit (she is such a cutie). She started asking me questions about my family and where I live. She looked at me with huge eyes when I said that I live in the United States. She asked me how long I was going to be staying here and I told her that I have about three more months left. I stopped scrubbing because she looked at me with the huge eyes again. That’s when she turned serious and said, “Shearin, don’t go.” I guess it startled me because I wasn‘t expecting that from her. It wasn’t close enough to my departure date for them to be saying things like that. I told her that I have to go back to study and she said it again. She reminded me that there were places to study in Honduras. I almost died. What was I supposed to say to her? All I said was that I would try to visit and that I will cry very hard when I have to go. Thankfully some of her friends found her and pulled her away right at that moment. I didn’t know what else to say to her. I was so sad. I figured that if I feel this way now, I’m going to be a wreck in three months. Wish me luck.

February 24

I have about 3 months left and I’m not sure if I’m excited or not. Some days when the kids have been terrible and I feel like crying, I start thinking about how great it is going to be when I get home. Then there are other days when I feel like something’s working with the kids and my brain begins to clear. I realize that all these things I’m going through are breaking me and building me up to be stronger than I ever was. Today I had to wash a lot of the kids’ school uniforms because they were filthy (the word filthy is an understatement, the dirt cannot be removed no matter how long and hard I scrub). I washed them all by hand in extremely hot humid weather. There I was drenched in sweat in the little mosquito infested laundry hut and I thought about how I would feel if I had to do this every day for the rest of my life. That’s when one of the younger boys walked in shyly. He asked me if I would wash his uniform too. I took his uniform which was beyond the cure of soap and I smiled at him. These kids need people to take care of them. I feel like even though all I did today was wash clothes and pick out ridiculous amounts of lice, God’s teaching me that it’s making a difference. Everything we do should be done to the best of our abilities no matter how small the task. When people see that, they’ll know there’s something different in you. Let me tell you, it is very hard for me to follow that advice. I feel like I’m always getting frustrated and angry at the kids and I don’t do everything the best I can. Nonetheless, I will definitely continue to try… and hopefully the kids will see that they are loved, not just by Tarynn and me, but more importantly by God.