February 24

I have about 3 months left and I’m not sure if I’m excited or not. Some days when the kids have been terrible and I feel like crying, I start thinking about how great it is going to be when I get home. Then there are other days when I feel like something’s working with the kids and my brain begins to clear. I realize that all these things I’m going through are breaking me and building me up to be stronger than I ever was. Today I had to wash a lot of the kids’ school uniforms because they were filthy (the word filthy is an understatement, the dirt cannot be removed no matter how long and hard I scrub). I washed them all by hand in extremely hot humid weather. There I was drenched in sweat in the little mosquito infested laundry hut and I thought about how I would feel if I had to do this every day for the rest of my life. That’s when one of the younger boys walked in shyly. He asked me if I would wash his uniform too. I took his uniform which was beyond the cure of soap and I smiled at him. These kids need people to take care of them. I feel like even though all I did today was wash clothes and pick out ridiculous amounts of lice, God’s teaching me that it’s making a difference. Everything we do should be done to the best of our abilities no matter how small the task. When people see that, they’ll know there’s something different in you. Let me tell you, it is very hard for me to follow that advice. I feel like I’m always getting frustrated and angry at the kids and I don’t do everything the best I can. Nonetheless, I will definitely continue to try… and hopefully the kids will see that they are loved, not just by Tarynn and me, but more importantly by God.