nov 30

I’m old, fat, and slow.

…At least, that’s how I feel.

Soccer (futbol) is a big sport here. I don’t think the word “big” really gives it justice, but because I’m always at a loss of words (both Spanish and English), I’ll just leave it at that. Last week the kids posted a paper on the door of the cafeteria. It was a list of different groups… actually, the more appropriate word would teams. To go into more detail, the lists were futbol (soccer) teams. At first I thought, “This can’t be too bad. A little running will do me good.” As a silly American, I definitely overestimated my abilities. I mean, I know I can’t play soccer very well, but I didn’t understand how much pain the sport would bring me playing against children. I practiced with one of the girls right before the graduation dinner on Thursday. As she yelled at me to run faster toward the ball, I felt as though all the bread and ice cream was yelling in my other ear to stop.

The volunteers and I were talking before the games started. We all agreed that we were nervous. These kids love futbol. It’s a deep, deep love. It was very possible that a 13 year old would start chewing us out for messing up… but it was too late to turn back. One of the volunteers was on my team and so we began preparing for defeat (not of our team, but of ourselves…both mentally and physically). That’s when we find out that we only have 4 players. We had the best girl on our team, but she couldn’t play because she had been disrespectful. The other younger girls couldn’t play because they were being punished as well. It was not very good news for us. The losers had to pay 5 limps each to pay for the winner’s lunch. After searching for people to play with us, we finally got a few girls to agree to it. The game started. These girls get pretty angry when someone messes up because futbol is serious business to them. You don’t mess… with the pies (not as in yummy pie, pies means feet… haha, yeah, not funny. Ignore me). Although we were the underdogs, we ended up having a tied game. I was torn between ecstasy and horror. I had worked so hard and I was so tired. The fact that we didn’t lose made me feel like I was unstoppable (the kids like to bust out singing We Are the Champions… that’s what I felt like even though it was tie game). On the other hand, we had to play again because they weren’t doing penalty kicks. This made me want to cry. I imagined playing another game much like the one I just played, but instead of barely making it through, my legs would go on protest during the first half and refuse to work again.

This was yesterday.

Today, I feel more tired than I have been during the whole 3 months here. My legs ache and I feel like collapsing. I was at the Infa sitting at a table and accidentally fell asleep. I woke up to a child shaking me and asking me to read them a story. And why am I this tired? …Because of one soccer game. I hardly think that’s normal… but I’m working on it. Hopefully Miss Old-fat-and-slow will say goodbye if I start playing with them more often. But the catch is I have to do it… and after yesterday, the sidelines look a lot more appealing to me.

Well, I’m off to bed. It’s already past my bedtime.

p.s.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOLA!!!!

Nov 26

Happy thanksgiving!

… okay, so it wasn’t as happy for me, but I’m trying to be thankful here! It’s hard to be away from family when you know they’re all gathering together without you. Tarynn and I were talking about our Thanksgivings and I’ve become more aware of how strange my family may seem to other American families. While some families eat apple pie and mashed potatoes, we have barbeque, rice, and some weird gooey purple stuff for desert. And although my family may not have the most traditional Thanksgiving, we spend it together and I believe that’s the most important thing. I’ve realized how hard the holidays are going to be. Today some of the kids graduated high school and so the tables were set up different and we ate enchiladas, veggie meat, and soup. This was very exciting because on Thursdays, the dinner menu usually consists of bread (it may be good or bad, depending on what kid made it that day) and some weird soy spread.

I’m thankful for:
God’s love (seriously could not make it through these 3 months without this)
Family and friends
Good health
Running water
My own bed
Enchiladas, veggie meat, and soup
Jane Austen
Internet, no matter how limited
Phone cards!! (Since I can’t have my family with me, I’ve got to make do)

November 22

All volunteers supervise tables at every meal. Tarynn sits with a bunch of hungry, growing boys and she needs to fight to get food. I, on the other hand, deal with other kind of fighting. I sit with the preteen girls. Well, they’re not all preteens, but they all act like they’re very much in charge of everything. There is always someone fighting with someone else. I can’t understand everything they say, but it sounds pretty vicious. There’s always a girl that doesn’t want to talk to me and there’s always a girl that says that they hate the food and they don’t want to eat it. One of the girls is older than me, but she acts like a child. Her name is Letty and she has two sides to her. One is when she’s angry or upset and doesn’t want to do something. She will fuss and pout for as long as she can. There are many times when she just sits with tears in her eyes and refuses to eat because someone said something like, “You said this and I’m going to tell on you.” One day, she got angry at one of the girls because she had a nicer chair than she did. She thought that she took it from her even when I was there before she got there and said that she hadn’t. Letty then took her chair and put it away against the wall and then started eating at the table standing up. When she realized that I wouldn’t pay attention to her if she was acting like that, she took her food and sat on the floor and ate… she was crying the whole time. The other side is a lot happier, I must say. She laughs for no reason and gives you hugs and talks a lot of nonsense. She’ll call you her friend and she’ll tell you things that have no relevance to your conversation. For instance, she came up to Tarynn and told her it was Friday. Then she informed Tarynn that Saturday comes after Friday. Then she proceeded to tell her what days come after that. She can get pretty funny sometimes. Today we were talking about friends. She said that she has exactly 6 friends and so I asked her to name all of them. She started off with me (very thoughtful) and then moved on to four more people. After she finished naming off the 5 people, I pointed out that she was missing one. She looked surprised and then she started picking people in the room to be her friend. After she named off a few names, making the friend list longer, I reminded her that she has a lot more friends by asking questions like, “how about so-and-so?” She was extremely happy that her group of friends grew significantly in the last 5 minutes. I don’t blame her, I would be happy too. (:

Nov 19

Today we played charades. My group did Daniel and the lion’s den. First I want to introduce you to Wildmer. He’s maybe thirty years old and he has some problems with his speech and I think there are some other things wrong with him as well. He goes to the Infa and eats and does chores and such with the kids. Anyways, he was in our group. He was given the name Daniel because we had no other guys in our group. The two older girls were going to push him to a group of ferocious lions and then Wildmer (Daniel) was going to put his hands together to pray and then the lions would stop roaring and close their mouths. This is a lot easier said than done. During the first practice, the girls pushed Wildmer into the ferocious group of lions and he just fell flat on his face. He didn’t get up for like 10 seconds. This was a problem because he had to get up and pray eventually. Another problem was the ferocious lions weren’t really ferocious at all. They were more on the giggly side than anything else. When it was time to perform in front of other groups, the lions decided to roar once or twice each and as soon as Wildmer fell on the ground, they decided that it was their time to stop. Wildmer fell face down again and stayed there for maybe 5 seconds (improvement). Then he got up and looked at them and whispered (in a loud whisper) to go. He wanted them to keep growling until he prayed… or at least that’s what I thought he was doing. The lions shuffled a little bit, but not one continued to growl. It was pretty funny. Some people guessed Jesus praying, some guessed Moses, but no one guessed that the gigglies were actually terrifying lions. I really didn’t mind that our skit turned out to look more like Moses parting the waters than anything else. It was worth the laugh.

Nov 18

Today, I got peed on. Lixi decided to do her business while I was carrying her… and of course her diaper from home isn’t one that holds all that stuff in very well. Her diapers are pretty much an old shirt or rag that is held together by safety pins. And so I took Lixi to the bathroom to do the daily cleaning and changing. It was a good thing that I brought a sweatshirt today. I planned to change into the sweatshirt and wash the shirt that I had on. I didn’t get to do this as soon as I hoped to. After I finished cleaning and changing Lixi, I had to wash her clothes. After that, one of the boys scraped his knee really really bad and so I had to go into the office and pull out the gauze, tape, and antibacterial business. I start to put stuff away and another boy comes up to show me his huuuuge cut on his arm. I do the same deed to that cut and then I grab my sweatshirt ready to get changed. Then Laura (she’s the girl who I took to the doctor… she had something growing on her thumb) comes up and asks for more gauze on her thumb. Her poor hand is swollen and there’s puss coming out of the huge hole that the doctor made. Remember how I told you about the doctor that just stuck a syringe in her finger and then cut at it? Remember how I questioned that whole thing? Yeah, well, I know for sure that he didn’t do a good job because now it’s extremely infected. The poor thing hasn’t been smiling or talking much at all. She just sits down and is in tremendous pain. Isa told her that she needs to see another doctor and so she sent Tarynn to take her. Meanwhile, I’m still very stinky with pee on me. After I wrapped Laura’s thumb in more gauze, I was summoned by kids that were yelling and blaming people for hitting other people and saying bad words to people (chaos). I dealt with the problems the best I could. And finally, after cleaning a baby and her clothes, cleaning a few cuts and scrapes, gauzing up an infected thumb, and after timing-out many misbehaved children, I got to clean my shirt. I felt like the rest of the day continued to be chaotic. Also at the end of the day, Isabel’s son took something form Tarynn and me. I confronted him and asked him why he took it and he said that he didn’t take it. I told him that neither of us put his name on it. Isabel scolded him a little bit and then gave it to him afterwards. I was extremely frustrated. It didn’t bother me that he had it, it bothered me that he wasn’t learning that it was not okay to do that. His mother even had him write his name on a paper and it matched the handwriting on our thing. He still refused to accept that he did it. It made me so frustrated that I just turned around, finished cleaning another wound and walked out of the office without saying another word. Let me just say this… I’m tired. Very very tired.

Also, Amanda is really sick. Amanda is the girl that takes care of the younger girls at the Hogar during the week. I am the sub. I really don’t know how she does it. These girls have already made me cry before. They’re not always on the nice side. Even though I’m tired because I have to get up extra early and then go to work all day at the Infa, I think I’m getting to know the girls at the Hogar a little more. I’m closer to some of the Infa kids, but I feel like I should be closer to the Hogar kids because I live there. One night this week there were only two girls to put to bed on time. It was actually really fun. The other girls were out playing soccer with some of the other kids. I brought over a few chocolates and a little Spanish kids book that my dad bought me. We ate chocolate and read some of the book. Then I put on some music off my laptop and the two girls feel asleep to Nat King Cole. I had a lot of fun just reading with them and joking with them. It reminded me that even though I’ve had some really hard days, I love these kids and these memories are memories I’ll want to keep close forever so I need to soak up as much as I can now.

nov 13

Picture this: It’s a warm day and you just ate a full meal and your stomach is feeling very happy. Now you have to take a very boring class or you’re in a very boring meeting where the person talking seems to be saying the same things that seem very irrelevant to you. You know you should listen, but sometimes you forget why. You sit in the warm room with your happy full stomach and what do you do?

You doze off!! Of course. This is what happens on the bus ride home. I know, it’s a problem, but I can’t help myself. I try so hard to keep my eyes wide open, but I find myself catching my head from falling. It’s really bad. I’m just so tired… and my stomach is really full… and we take the same old route home everyday. It’s no excuse. Well anyways, today, there was this old man sitting a few rows ahead of me. He looked like he hadn’t showered in a week and he was carrying a broom stick. Yes. There was nothing on the end. It was just a broom stick. Anyways, his clothes were dirty and his face was worn from both age and sun. He turned around and saw me fighting so hard to stay awake. He gave me a small smile. I didn’t think it was a big deal. I wasn’t fully convinced that he saw me dozing off. I thought he was being nice. The next time he looked back and saw me do it again, he gave me the full smile. I could see into his mouth where some of his teeth should have been. I gave him an embarrassed face and looked away. Unfortunately we had the same stop. He got off the bus and when we met up with him, he started laughing at me and I couldn’t help but laugh with him. Then he started to imitate me. This toothless old man didn’t stop there. Tarynn had to buy something at the little stand by the Hogar and so we stopped there. I figured he had already left toward his house. To my surprise, he was on the other side of the street. He saw us and he seriously took his finger, pointed at me, and laughed. Some random Honduran man was across the street pointing and laughing at me. I always thought it would feel ten times worse if someone pointed and laughed at me… but now I know how it feels. Haha, that taught me never to sleep on the bus ever again.

nov 11

Happy birthday mom!!

The thing about being here is that I can’t see my family very often and I miss celebrating birthdays and other things with my family. Thanksgiving is going to be very sad over here! Tarynn and I talked about going home today. It’s only been about two and a half months and we miss it all very much. It really feels like I’ve been here for a lot longer than 2 months. It’s not like I don’t like it here. I love these kids, but it’s just hard to be away from everything I know so well.

Anyways, I talked to my brother today. He’s in the doctoral program for psychology in Loma Linda. Good thing about that is that he’s going to be specializing in children psychology. Horray for me! His advice to me: positive reinforcement. So last week I had the girls and I gave them little treats if they did well, but today I talked to him and he said that even if I just tell them that they’re doing a good job throughout the day, it’ll help. So that is my plan. Positive reinforcement. I really wish someone was here to give me positive reinforcement… preferably with ice cream. (:

nov 10

Today I took one of the girls, Laura, to the doctor. She had a weird thing growing on her thumb. She said that it hurt a lot and that she was crying all night. So after waiting for 2 hours, we went into the doctors office and he asked her a few questions about it. Then he had her lay down on a little bed thing and he put some stuff into her thumb with a syringe. She was shutting her eyes and holding her nose trying not to cry. Then the doctor left the room for like 2 minutes and blood was just trickling down her thumb. I didn’t feel like the process was completely sanitary. Then he came back and took out some pliers to hold the thing in place and then cut it off. Laura started crying and I wanted to cry for her too. Whether or not the doctor gave her a lollipop (he had them, but he didn’t), I decided it was imperative that she had ice cream. Oh the power of ice cream….

nov 8

It’s raining ants.

Well actually, it’s more of a light drizzle, but nonetheless, I’d rather them stay grounded. Apparently it’s normal to have the mutant ants everywhere for a few days during the rainy season. Okay, so it’s not actually raining ants… but they climb up the walls and the ceiling and wait for the opportune moment to drop to the ground and terrorize not only with bites, but with their numbers. I found one on my arm and I freaked out. They started dropping on us when Tarynn was helping Lily (one of the Seniors) get ready for a banquet. Tarynn was extremely excited to do her hair, makeup, and nails. I’d like to say that I helped, but that’s really not my thing. I get confused when it comes to makeup. So I did what I could do… I took pictures and held the mirror up. There were lots of people in our room watching her get ready and we started to notice the mutant ants crawling around. After everyone left, we were trying to find out where they were all coming from. Tarynn found quite a few on her bed and there were some on the floor and the walls and shelves. I felt sorry for our bad luck until I saw Dario’s bed. He’s one of the boys that lives in the same room. His bed was covered in ants. We didn’t have it that bad after all. Tarynn is going to run tomorrow, but she’s still up because she’s afraid the ants are going to swarm her. She has the raid and is spraying all the mutants that she sees. I don’t blame her. I’m not a big fan of them either. One of the past volunteers told us a story about how one of them fell asleep and when he woke up there were a bunch of ants crawling into his mouth. Yeah. Bad story. We don’t like ants. It’s funny though because whenever I tell Dario (boy with the ants on his bed) that I hate ants (hormigas), he jokes and says that they’re not hormigas, but that they’re my amigas (friends). Hardly. I’m pretty sure he won’t want to be friends with them anymore.

Let me back up to the beginning of the day…

We had planned to go to the City Mall in San Pedro Sula today. We talked to Nelson and asked him if we could use his little mini van because we were going to go with another volunteer and the two ladies at the infa (plus their families of course). He talked to us the week before and asked us if we really wanted to go because he didn’t want to lend the van if it was just the two ladies that wanted to go. We assured them that we did and then to our surprise, we were greeted by a pick up truck on Sunday morning. Nelson decided last minute that he had to use his van and told someone else to let us use their pick up truck. This would’ve been fine, but rain clouds were covering us. He knew it was a long trip to San Pedro Sula and there’s always the possibility of rain… it is the rainy season. The poor kids were all wrapped up in the back of the truck when we met them. I’m not going to go into detail, but we were all very unhappy with Nelson. Anyways, when we got there, we all forgot about the troubles back at the Hogar. I did not buy a single thing other than food. I was very happy.

Also, Marta and her little brother Manuel are gone. Their mom took them back home. I don’t know how I feel about this. They weren’t living with her for a reason. It’s dangerous. I want to pull an Anne Sullivan and take her to a place where she can’t see anyone and have an extreme time of discipline. She and one of the other girls got in a knife fight maybe two weeks ago. Mirna (the lady who takes care of the few kids living at the infa) was telling me that one of her girls, Lendi, used to be worse than Marta. She threatened Isabelle with a knife and she was out of control. She said that she prayed every night and would sleep with one eye open. I would have never guessed because Lendi is such a sweet girl now. She listens when I tell her things and she always gives us hugs. I just feel like Marta could be the same way. But thing is… Maria Jose has tried, Txus has tried, I’m sure all the volunteers have tried. I’ve tried. I really have.

nov 7

Those of you that know me, I’m on the shy side of things. I truly despise talking in front of people. Whether or not I have to talk in front of 200 people or only 2, I start to shake. I can’t control it. I become Miss Awkward. I never know what to say and I just start giggling or I start to jumble my words together or sometimes my voice even trembles. Small talk is more like no talk when I attempt it. When I was in 1st or 2nd grade, I was in this shy program. They would take me out for a portion of class time and I would have to go into this room with some lady and just play for thirty minutes or so. I remember it being torture. Although she was nice, I felt so very uncomfortable. This past year I worked as a Resident’s Assistant. I tried my best to start talking to people. I absolutely loved it, but it was really hard for me sometimes. I think being an RA helped me a lot, but I still have got a lot of shy problems. The volunteers all have Sabbath school together every week and we all were going to take a turn leading it. I declined. I cant describe it, but every time I start to want to say something, I suddenly don’t know what it is I want to say. I can’t put the words together and my heart starts to flutter like I’m in mid-sprint. Everything gets jumbled together and I forget why I was thinking about saying something in the first place. I look back and try to figure out if I’m doing the right thing, but I’m torn. I keep thinking that Moses was someone who didn’t speak well. He declined when God told him to go to Pharaoh because he didn’t think he could speak. He could’ve been a great speaker if he would’ve let God do his thing. But I also keep thinking that God has given me music to express myself. He’s given us each different talents and I can express myself through song and lyric. Not everyone has the same gifts, right? Anyways, let me know what you think.

Other than that, today has been pretty relaxed. Oh wait… Marta. You know all of the troubles she’s been having this week. I know I need more patience. I know that I need to be better, but it’s extremely hard with her. Today she came back to the Hogar. She eats at my table and I was already dreading it because she always has problems. One time I told her that she needed to eat her salad and she threw something across the table, knocked a chair down, slammed on the table, and walked out of the cafeteria (almost everyone was staring). It was embarrassing, but what was I supposed to do? So there she was again… not eating anything. I seriously did not want to deal with it today. I was already frustrated with her and she refused to eat it because she said I was sitting at the table. I told her that it didn’t matter whether or not I was there. She had to eat it. It makes me angry because these kids don’t remember what it’s like to have nothing. They’re so spoiled with food everyday while there are kids at the Infa who aren’t so fortunate. These kids at the Hogar always complain and act like they deserve to have anything they want. It really frustrates me sometimes.

On a lighter note… some of the kids put a little snake in our room. Thankfully they came in and got it out, but there was one boy who kept pretending to put it on my bed or in my face. He kept asking me where he should put it. I wanted to scream. You should all be proud because instead of doing what my insides wanted me to do (scream and run away), I thought clearly. It was a small snake and if I flinched and showed him that I was really scared, he was just going to make things worse. And so I held my ground and told him to stop. I’m getting better at this not screaming thing! It’s a very good sign.

nov 6

I love Fridays. It means tomorrow is Sabbath and Sabbaths are always greatly appreciated by my tired self.

Today, Marta was giving us trouble. Did I tell you what happened with her? Well, if not, I’m going to tell you and if so, then I’m sorry. Last week Marta was at the Hogar and she was eating breakfast… well not entirely. She was bothering Letty and throwing food at her. Tarynn grabbed her orange away from her and told her that she needed to eat her food and then she can have her orange. Marta freaked out. She got so angry that she got up, pushed her plate, and stormed off into the kitchen. Tarynn followed her into the kitchen to make sure she obeyed. And who would’ve guessed…Marta had another orange in her hand. Tarynn told her to give the orange to her, but she refused. Tarynn grabbed her arm and said to give it to her and Marta refused again. Tarynn held her arm harder so she could take the orange from her hand and that’s when Marta took her other arm and hit Tarynn really hard. This girl is pretty strong. She’s been having a lot of problems at the Hogar. Maria Jose, the lady in charge, has brought her to the Infa in San Pedro Sula and was thinking of letting her stay there instead of the Hogar because she wasn’t listening to anyone and she thought that it would be better for her there. She needs to learn how to behave and how to obey and no matter what they do at the Hogar, it hasn’t been working. Marta begged and said that she would behave and so they brought her back. It also wasn’t very safe over there. Apparently Marta didn’t mean what she said. Hitting Tarynn put it over the edge. They brought her to the Infa in Santa Barbara (the one where we work at) and Isabelle said that she would take her in her own home to try and help her. Thing was, Marta hasn’t been listening to Isabelle either. Isabelle opened her home to Marta and gave her time to help Marta and Marta couldn’t even mop the porch for Isabelle. She lied to her about Tarynn and about Maria Jose saying things like Maria Jose hits her and the kids all the time. No one knows what to do with Marta. She doesn’t listen to anyone and it’s really getting out of hand.

Anyways, today she left without telling anyone anything. She was walking somewhere alone with another girl who is around 14 years old. Apparently this “cousin” of hers lives somewhere with her “husband” and is trying to convince Marta to come live with her. She’s telling Marta that she needs to get a guy and is making things ten times worse. Mirna (the lady who takes care of the kids living at the Infa) told me that they went somewhere really dangerous especially for two young girls. When she got back, no one did anything. I was angry because what am I supposed to say? I can’t speak Spanish well. I can’t talk to her like I want to. Mirna told me to get Marta to do the dishes (I’m still very bitter that they wouldn’t talk to her). I told Marta to come and to my surprise, she came to do it. I told her I would help her and I tried my best to talk to her. I pretty much poured out all that I could to her. I told her that what she was doing was unacceptable and that she’s smart and that she knows better. I told her how important it was to listen to Maria Jose and Isabelle and the volunteers because we’re here to help her. I told her that she doesn’t realize how much she has here and she may not realize it until it’s all gone. I told her how much people love her and how much they want to help her. I told her how much it hurt us to see her act like this. I told her that I loved her so much and that I wanted her to have a great future. She laughed at me and with a faint smile she said that it’s better for her to be dead. I wanted to cry. Here I am trying to tell this girl that she means something and that she is so much better than how she’s acting and that I don’t want to give up on her, but nothing goes through. I kept telling her no no no and saying how important she was, but she just left the kitchen. The rest of the day, she continued being Marta. She started writing on a table and I tried to get the crayon from her, but she refused to give it to me and I had to break the crayon out of her hand. She also started making one of the girls cry. And instead of saying sorry like we told her to do, she laughed and ran away trying to imitate the girl’s cry. Tarynn was telling her to stop and finally she talked to Isabelle and Nelson who weren’t doing much and told them that they needed to talk to her right now. We all went into the office and they started talking. Tarynn and I were already extremely frustrated with her. She didn’t have any respect and it seemed like Isabelle and Nelson weren’t taking it seriously. We obviously couldn’t talk to her the way we wanted to talk to her so we wanted them to talk to her. And instead, they got off topic, they started laughing at things, and they asked her ridiculous questions. Let me just tell you… we left extremely angry at the way they handled it and so we comforted ourselves with what we know best… food.

After dinner at the Hogar, I was talking to Maria (one of the older girls) and I asked her why she had glitter on her face. This was not a good move because that’s when the glitter war began. She smeared glitter all over my face and I wasn’t about to take it so I started fighting back with that same glitter and putting all over hers. Somehow two of the other older girls got into it too and we were all on the floor pouring glitter on each other. It was fun, but very messy and I’m sure I’ll be finding glitter everywhere for the next 2 months.

Oh and I have to mention that I didn’t realize we had visitors during our glitter war. It was a group from the east coast who came to stay at the Hogar for a day or two. One older guy looked at me and asked me what I was doing. I wanted to hide, but there really wasn’t much use to that. He had already seen me. I was extremely embarrassed and I’m sure between the red glitter and my red cheeks, I was quite a sight.

nov 5

I had another problem with some kids at the Infa today. Lixi, as you may recall, is the child whose diapers I change. She does her business and I clean her and her clothes as usual. She likes to say “poo poo, pee pee” when I’m changing her. It’s rather cute (well it is to me because I’ve named her my child). This is nothing new. The new thing was that I had nowhere to hang her clothes because it was raining. So instead of putting it on the clothes line out back, I hung all of her clothes on a chair. The day goes on and I make the kids shower and such, but then the kids start pulling at me and telling me to go see something. I went out to look at what they were pointing at and it was all of Lixi’s clothes that had been scrubbed by my hands… and they were all in a trash can. The trash can was also placed directly under the corner of the roof so that all the water from the roof would go into the trash can. I was pretty angry. I asked who did it and thankfully, the kids didn’t really care about tattling and told me exactly who they were. It was Carlos’s brother Josue and Esau. First I scolded them and then I told them to get the clothes. After they picked up the clothes, I grabbed them by the arms and led them to the laundry hut. Kids were swarming around us laughing and calling others to watch because I was going to make them wash the clothes they put in the trash can. I made them scrub those clothes… and I made them scrub those clothes very hard. While they were scrubbing, I was talking to them and asking them why they did it and telling them why it was wrong. The whole time, they just laughed and were disrespectful. I already took away their dinner, but that’s not what I wanted to do… I wanted them to understand why it was wrong to take her clothes and put it in the trash can with dirty water. They didn’t understand and it killed me. I’m scared that they’re going to grow up not knowing how to treat people well. They’re always fighting and disobeying all of us.

I used to think I had a lot of patience, but the things I have to deal with when it comes to these kids makes me realize how much more patience I need. I constantly need to ask God to supply me with the patience needed to handle these situations because I would not be able to get through it all. I’ve also been trying to remember that every situation can be an opportunity to witness. These kids are looking at every move I make and they need to know that I’m disciplining in love and because I want them to learn how to be kind and good and all that business.

I think I’m also learning how to let things go easier. Some of these kids do some terrible things to us, but then the next day they love us and give us hugs. I envy their lack of grudges. Sometimes I get really angry at the kids because they lie to me or whatever else they do. I end up holding a grudge instead of letting it go. I know. They’re kids. Bear with me people. I’m learning.

november 4

So I never thought I’d actually ever be threatened by a kid before, but today changed that. There’s this one boy named Carlos and he’s always had a big attitude problem. He doesn’t listen very often and gets angry when things don’t go his way. I was playing with one of the girls and then I turned around because kids started tugging at me and yelling. That’s when I see Carlos grabbing Isabelle’s son and slugging him as hard as he could over and over again. I immediately got up and started yelling at him to stop. I told him to stand against the wall and I started scolding him in the Spanish that I know. Isabelle came and yelled at him some more (she can be super scary when she yells. She used to be a radio host and so she talks fast and loud). She made him face the wall and then she went into the office. So there I am outside watching all the kids and the boys around him start playing soccer closer and closer to him. Carlos eventually starts kicking the ball and trying to play along with them. That’s when I put on my angry face and tell him to stop. He then proceeds to laugh and does it again and again. I firmly told him to come sit by me and after a few times of telling him to come, he finally came murmuring angry things about me. He kept reaching for the ball if it came our way (it’s a small playing area and so it came our way often). I told him to stop and told him to look at me when I’m talking to him (a line I never thought I’d say… sounds like a mother). I picked up his hat so he would look up at me and then he got up extremely angry and started walking away. I had already taken away his dinner for the day and I was ready to take away the dinner for the next day. I told him that he had to come back. This is when he picked up a rock. It wasn’t a little pebble either. I looked at him and I could tell in his face that he was ready to throw it at me. I freaked out on the inside. I couldn’t believe he was actually threatening to throw a rock at me. I pushed aside my shock and fear and gave him the angriest look I had. I tried to be as threatening as I could saying, “Que?! Que va a hacer?!” (What? What are you going to do?) I quickly went up to him and grabbed his arm… and the nice sized rock of course… and dragged him into the office. Isabelle and Nelson talked to him and asked him what he was going to do with that rock. He said very confidently that he was going to throw the rock at me. Isabelle told him that he had to go home and she wouldn’t let him come the next week. She kept the rock in the office to show to her mother. That was not so fun.

Random note: Today someone asked if I was from Spain. The question surprised me because I’m always expecting them to guess somewhere in Asia. People have guessed my homeland to be China, Japan, Korea, and now Spain. I just want to ask… do I look Korean to you (hint: no I do not)? There obviously haven’t been very many Asians in Honduras in a long time.

october 29

My hives are gone! Horray!! I know this may not be as exciting for you, but after five days of wanting to rip my skin off, I find it very very exciting. Instead of my whole body being itchy, only my bug bites are itchy and it is very comforting to me.

The Infa is still as crazy as ever. I’m becoming very attached to the little girl Lixi. Whenever she has to do her business, I’ve got to clean her up and change her with the little supplies we have. I think that because it’s so disgusting, a bond has grown between us. Haha I’m getting used to it and I really don’t mind it as much. She gets really tired in the afternoons and the other day I sang her to sleep. I’m going to really miss this child.

I’ve also been trying to teach some of the kids the alphabet and it’s extremely hard. I was the biggest nerd as a kid and I loved to read. I did my homework for funsies. These kids… not so much. They’re more on the normal side. I’m working on it… but it’s suuuuper hard. Also… because of elections on the 21st of November, the government wants to close down schools starting November 1. It’s absolutely terrible. The kids are already behind because the teachers were on strike… but now it’s going to be worse. Nelson is talking about hiring a teacher for the Infa, but it’s going to cost a lot of money and he’s not sure it’s going to work out. On the positive side... one of the girls that I’m trying to teach in the morning is learning how to add big numbers well. I promised to buy ice cream for whoever was good and she’s the only one who has been listening to me. So tomorrow she’s going to get one… and I might (more like definitely will) buy one for myself too.

Random fact: Geckos like to poop on my bed. It’s super gross, but I just have to brush it off. They’re always chillin out above me and so they figure… why not. It’s a nice big target. Yes. I know. Ew.

Some of the girls and I, in an attempt to keep our pants size in check, are doing Tae-bo. Do you remember this exercise breakthrough a few years back? Well, we’re trying to do it every night and it’s been happening for a week now… I’m hoping my desire to exercise and be fit is stronger than my desire to eat… although it’s very unlikely. I like my ice cream. 

Feeling generous?
These kids could always use some materials to learn their alphabet. Email me @ shearyberry@gmail.com so I can give you instructions on how to send money…. Or if you have the things in your possession, just send it to this address:


Reach International
El Hogar de Ninos
Shearin Matute
APDO 20
Santa Barbara, Honduras

october 25

Apparently I’m allergic to something… because I’ve had hives for 3 (going on 4) days now. It all started Thursday at 12 in the morning. My eyelids were feeling heavy, but I couldn’t sleep. I felt more itchy than sleepy. I ended up getting up to go to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and I gasped. I looked like a little bug or like I had just cried for a week straight. No wonder my eyelids were feeling heavy… they were GIGANTIC! I looked down at my arms and saw hives all over me. I went over to my “medicine cabinet” (it’s a Ziploc bag on my shelf) and looked desperately for some Benadryl. I didn’t pack any. Great. Now I had to deal with this until morning. I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I slept for maybe 3 hours but it was all broken up. Every time I’d wake up again, it took forever for me to fall back asleep. It was a very long night. At around 5, I got up to ask the “main mom” Maria Jose if she had any allergy medicine. She had something called Alergia and so I took that. Another volunteer lent me some Benadryl too. And since then, I’ve had hives. It’s Sunday. I want to scratch my skin off. I’m hoping it’ll go away soon because I’m getting very sick of it.

october 17

Tarynn and I are realizing that the people in charge of the Infa are not what we were hoping for. The people in charge now are great people and I feel like they’re there for the right reason, but they’re not doing things for the kids. I feel like they sit around in the office with the fan and don’t do much. People have told us about the volunteers this past year. They pretty much ran the Infa. The Infa had to close for a little bit because there was no income for the people running it and there was no money for food. The two volunteers kept it running by putting in their own money to buy the food for the kids everyday. I hear amazing things about these volunteers and how they started having English classes for the kids at the Infa and they had other activities. Tarynn and I really want to get going with the Infa and do more because no one else is going to. Sure, the Spanish hasn’t kicked in, but we don’t want to wait for it. We just don’t know where to start. We do know that we’re going to get in contact with the volunteers that made such a difference at the Infa and we’re going to get ideas from them. So if you have any experience with kids, or even if you don’t… send me some ideas because we’re in desperate need of them.

October 15

October 15

Our day goes like this in case I haven’t explained this before: At 5:30, the boys get up. You may think to yourself, “that doesn’t mean your day starts at 5:30.” Yes it does. We are required to get up at 6, but our room is practically the boys’ room so we hear everything that goes on… such as yelling (both children and Hannah who has to get the boys up), screeching, singing, and furniture getting pushed around (they like to move their beds to the middle of the room and they have to move it back in the morning). It really hurts me, but Tarynn and I deal with it. Then we go to devotional. The kids sing some songs and then there’s a little worship thought. After that, we go to the cafeteria for breakfast. I sit at younger girls’ table. They don’t like to drink milk or eat everything on their plate… but I have to be the bad guy and make them. Then they hate me for the rest of the day for threatening to take away something if they don’t eat it. The others are angry at me if someone else gets too much or too little food compared to themselves. Then they proceed to turn on each other… I have no idea what they’re saying, but it always sounds like someone’s fighting with another person. After they eat all their food, they go to school and Tarynn and I get ready to leave for the Infa. We get on the bus (sometimes we’re late and we have to wait for a bit) and after that, we walk maybe 5 or 6 blocks to the Infa. This is where anything could happen. Kids jump on you, fight, play, yell, and everything else that children do. Sometimes before 12, we go with another person on errands. It’s pretty much going to different stores with someone to ask for money or discounts on food for the Infa. Today, I went to get some cheese, bananas, and sugar. My arms were about to fall off brining the big bag of bananas to the Infa… they were soooo heavy. When 12 comes around, it’s time for lunch. If there’s school that day, most of the kids usually come at this time. We don’t have a lot of problems asking the kids to eat all of their food because sometimes that’s all they get. After lunch, we make the kids do their chores. This is a very painful time for us. There’s a list of chores (aseos in spanish) that we have to make them do. We have to ask and ask and ask and yell and yell and yell all that business to get the kids to listen. It takes a while, but they do it eventually. Then it’s time to bathe the girls. We then struggle to get all the girls in the bathroom and there’s so much more to bathing them than you think. Sometimes by the extent and passion in which they protest, you think it might be better for them to not take a shower… but I quickly remind myself that they smell terrible and make them do it anyway. The boys are next, but that’s now out of our hands (horray!). Then there’s devotional where I kill lice and braid many different heads. After devotional, we make sure the kids do homework. Sometimes I ask some of the kids to read to me… it’s pretty sad how behind they are, but by the way some of them get excited to read to me makes me want to do it more. They don’t have anyone to encourage them to read and I feel like maybe I can do it for a few of them. After homework, the kids get in line to get their dinner to take home and then they leave. I can’t possibly explain everything that really happens during a day because every day is different. Sometimes kids come up to me bleeding and ask for a band-aid and sometimes people are fighting and we have to put them in time out… or like today, I had to give a baby a bath. There’s always something new. Anyways, after that, Tarynn and I catch the bus to head back to the Hogar. Sometimes we stay in town for a little longer to use the internet, get a few snacks, or to check the mail. We’re trying to have self discipline because we found a doughnut shop the other day. Yes. Doughnuts. A little taste of heaven. Anyways, when we head back, we have an hour and a half of free time or less… depending on when we get back from the Infa. Then it’s dinner at 6 and we have to make the kids eat again. After that, we have to make the teenagers do their chores (this takes foreeeeveeer) until devotional. We go to devotional and then we can have free time until we go to bed… except our light has to be off because we live in the boys room. It’s a good thing the volunteers before us left little Christmas lights. We keep that on so we can see our way around… and to see if there are bugs on our beds. We’re pretty drained by the time they have to sleep anyway, so we usually go to bed around the time they do too.

Anyways, that’s pretty much my day. I would not have the energy to get through so many of these without God. Good thing He’s got enough energy and patience to spare. :)

October 14

Today, I changed my first diaper. Not to gross you out or anything, but the baby had diarrhea. And they don’t have baby wipes. Okay, first of all, there’s one baby that lives at the Infa and today there was another girl that came with her sisters… and she’s still in her “diapers.” I say “diapers” because she came without a diaper. She came in two pieces of ripped up shorts tied together that served as a diaper. Tarynn was coloring with some of the kids and she suddenly smelled the smell of trouble. She turned to the kids and she said, “necesitas pupu?” (do you need to poop?). And the sisters answered yes for her. Tarynn and I took her into the bathroom. We took toilet paper to wipe and shampoo to clean her up. She did all the dirty work and I went to the “laundry room” to wash her dirty poopie shorts and pants. Tarynn went to buy diapers because they had none (By the way, any money you send me would be greatly appreciated for buying things like this for the kids). Then after all that was over, the baby that lives at the Infa started to cry. Tarynn was busy because her pant leg just ripped and so I went over by myself to find out what was going on. The little boy also smelled of trouble. I took him and washed him and put on a new diaper and he cried the whole way through. Then I went and washed all of his clothes and hung them up to dry. Diaper changing is not a very fun job… I give my parents props for their hard work… and I’m glad they didn’t have to use rags for diapers. EW.

Also, Mirian left today. She was anther lady in charge and Isa was very sad that she left because she’s been working with her for 5 years. She’s going to Bolivia, but she doesn’t know if she’s going to come back because her husband works for ADRA and they may be moving because his job may be relocated or something. We had all of the kids write her cards and I was really sad to see her go. There’s a guy that’s in charge of the Infa now. His name is Nelson the other Nelson. Yes, it’s a little confusing. He seems nice though and he’s doing the boys’ showers now… which is WONDERFUL. It’s an automatic plus. I hope it turns out okay and I hope he has a lot of good ideas. He can’t speak English either, so we’re all doing the best we can to find out things to do with the kids.

Back at the Hogar, we’re still trying very hard to get the kids to do their chores every day. Tarynn and I have to deal with the teenagers and they get really grumpy when we ask them to do something because they say they’re too old for that. I get super frustrated with them sometimes and I struggle to keep my patience. Some of the kids are even angry at me and won’t talk to me because I told them to do their chores. I’m going to have several serious heart attacks when I have a teenager. I never knew the pain that parents around the world had to deal with. Haha, it’s okay though because sometimes they make me laugh. Tarynn and I were telling a girl named Flor to do her chores and she refused. She kept saying that her name was not Flor. She finally said that every time we say, “Flor, go dry the dishes,” she won’t listen. But if we say, “Daughter of Brad Pitt,” then she’ll do it. And so we asked her to wash the dishes as the “hija de Brad Pitt” and she went to do it. Haha, I had to laugh at that.

October 7

I had my hair searched for lice today... and the girl found lice eggs, one lice.... and a flea. Yes. A flea. I wanted to cry. I immediately called my mom for comfort and almost started crying because I wanted to go home. Then we hung up and I breathed deep and thought... it's just a flea and it's just lice and it's not that bad here...I can take it. I'm not going to die and it's not the end of the world.

please pray for me... i miss being clean.

October 6

Tarynn and I came back from the Infa and I went to help some of the girls pick through frijoles (beans) to pick out the dirt and the deformed ones. This was extremely boring, but I’m glad I helped because one of the older girls said she would look through my hair for piojos (lice). I was very thankful for this. Mandy, one of the other volunteers, was getting her hair searched also. She was saying that she freaked out when she first got lice, but she realized that she was going to be there for a while and she’d just keep getting it so she calmed down and just accepted it. Then Ingrid shows up (she’s the one who came to visit after volunteering for a year) and she says that after only two weeks at the Infa, she has loads of lice. She told me that she took four blank pieces of paper and she combed her hair with a lice comb and put the lice on the paper, and the four pieces were filled. I wanted to cry. Now we find out that Laurel is safe. She’s another volunteer and she had her hair checked as well. Meanwhile, I’m considering cutting my hair… or even shaving my head. I figured it might be easier with the heat… but then again, I’d have some crazy sun burns. I then pushed aside my momentary loss of judgment and I grasped on to the fact that I really didn’t want to cut my hair. These girls have dealt with it and I can too. They say that there’s no avoiding it and I have to accept it. Berta pulled out two lice eggs from my hair. They were right. There’s no avoiding it. They said that I don’t have any lice, but I had a few eggs. That means there had to be at least one in there. My parents are sending me a package with some lice killers. Oh FedEx men of Honduras, where are you when I need you? I’ll accept you whether or not your wear khaki pants. Please come quickly.

Also, another sad note… I entered my room today and found dirt all over my bed. Not only that, but I saw a little splotch of blood on it. The boys were climbing over the wall while we were gone. I tried to ask one of the boys who did it, but he said that he didn’t know. When Maria Jose found out, she went into the boys’ room before it was time for bed and she scolded them. I’m not sure what she said, but she made them change the room around. She said that there shouldn’t be anything touching our wall that they can climb on. In the end, Elias (the seven year old raptor) confessed that he did it. The thing that made me really angry was that when Maria Jose was scolding them, two of the boys said that I had let them climb over before. They said that I had locked my key inside and I had them go over the wall and open it for me. I couldn’t believe they could lie and I was standing right there. I always make sure I have my key. I do that because I want to make sure I never has to ask them that because I don’t ever want them climbing over that wall. It made me really angry that they had to do that.

It was also Mainor’s birthday tonight. Ingrid had taken the time to go into town and buy him a cake to celebrate with the rest of the boys. We had the cake in our room and there was a candle that I was going to light. When I tried lighting the candle, it blew out. Silly me… I forgot about the fans facing my direction. I was about to get another one, but Ingrid yelled at us to open the door. We let her in and she said that Mainor didn’t want it. I was shocked. He was being a huge jerk to Ingrid. She had taken the time to buy him a cake and he told her that he didn’t want it. Ingrid left with the cake, the knife, the plates, the candle, and the hat she bought him. She was angry and I don’t blame her. Tarynn and I went to talk to her and she just said she needed time to cool down and she hoped he would say sorry for hurting her tomorrow. I really hope he does. He needs to learn how to be grateful. I wanted to have a talk with him… but of course I have no idea how to do that. My Spanish is on the limited side.

I’ve been reading this book by Lynn Cox… she is an amazing woman. She’s a famous long-distance swimmer who has accomplished a lot. She swam the Catalina Channel when she was super young and then went on to swim the English Channel and different places… even in Antarctica. The book describes a lot of the crazy conditions that she had to go through. I think there’s a lot to learn from her story. Her endurance and her willpower are amazing. There are many times in the book where she thought she couldn’t make it and she didn’t want to go on, but she remembers why she’s there in the first place and continues. Whenever she swims, she has a team of people helping her. She has navigators, pilots, people who watch her to make sure she can take the water she’s in, people to throw her food in the water if she needs energy, people ready to give her medical attention if she needs it, people to shoot the sharks if they try to eat her, and even people to swim ahead of her to break the ice and tell her when she needs to turn to avoid icebergs. Just like her, I’ve got to remember that I have someone who’s got the map all figured out, someone who knows the waters that I’m swimming in, someone who can give me the energy I need to get me through my day, and someone who is in front of me and beside me who can help me get through the obstacles and battles I encounter. I’m not going to lie… It’s really hard being here away from my family and friends where it’s easier and comfortable. I think about home all the time… but I’m trying to remember why I’m here in the first place and I have to remember that I have someone who is carefully watching over me and would never give me more than I can handle. I never have to go through anything alone.

October 5

Little Shearin used to wake up with the sun and be happy. My parents like to remind me that I used to wake up earlier than anyone in the house and I used to go into their room to see if they were awake. When I saw that everyone was still sleeping, I would just sit there in their room waiting for them to wake up. They said that sometimes I would startle them because they would wake up and see two little eyes looking at them. Yeah, I know… kind of creepy. I have no idea what I was thinking. Now, I’m more on the opposite side. I don’t exactly find joy in waking up early and staring at my parents. I find joy in sleeping in. I wish I was a morning person… I’m sure many of you understand my pain. Well Tarynn and I can’t have that joy of sleeping in anymore. We now have to wake up at 6:00 everyday. We are required to get up in the morning and go with the kids to have morning worship. It’s hard to accept that we have to do this, but I figure we’re half awake in the morning anyway. The kids have to get up at 6:00 and we’re living in their room. Did I explain how our room is made? The little boys have a big room that they live in and we live in a cubicle in that room. Our walls don’t actually go all the way up to the ceiling so both sides can hear everything that’s going on over the wall. This includes little Elias (7 year old that looks like a 3 year old) who screeches like a little raptor. It’s actually pretty cute, but not so cute at 6 in the morning. The other night one of the boys peed in their bed and we could smell it in our room. Haha… not so pleasant. It’s even possible for them to climb over our wall and into our room… which scares us because one of the volunteers that used to live in this room said that her movies were all stolen. I just hope they don’t take any of our stuff.

October 4

Ladies and Gentlemen, today I killed my first cockroach. In Spanish: La cucaracha (All these years I’ve been singing that song and I had no idea it was about the dirty dirty creature that makes me want to cry). Okay, well… I didn’t exactly kill it. My best friend Raid did (I’m making a lot of best friends). I was in the room minding my own business when I turn to look at my bed and there is a big disgusting cockroach just lying there thinking that he’s going to scare me away. A month ago, it would have. But after watching Tarynn conquer the little disgusting things over and over again, I decided I’d be brave and try to take back what’s mine. (By the way… Tarynn was out doing something. I like to say that I was just brave, but I’m pretty sure if she was there, I would’ve made her kill it for me). I sprayed the Raid until the cockroach stopped moving. Then I picked it up (with a HUGE wad of toilet paper) and I flushed it down the toilet. I felt very proud of myself. Later that night when Tarynn walked in the room, she commented on the smell of the room. I admitted that I went a little crazy with the Raid and added to my defense that I was very scared. She laughed and said that the whole room smelled like Raid. I’m sure it did, but to me… it smelled like victory.

Anyways, on to other things… A group of us went to a pizza place for dinner last week. I didn’t know what to expect when it came to Honduran pizza… banana cheese… who knows. To my surprise, it was very much like pizza at home. It was actually really good… although I thought it was interesting that they gave us ketchup to eat with our pizza. Different strokes for different folks I guess. Miguel suggested that I keep the packets to give to the kids if they did something good. I thought that was weird too, but I did it anyway. The next day one of the kids helped me out when Tarynn and I were cleaning our room and so I gave him two packets. He was extremely excited and when he sees me he says, “salsa, salsa.” Who knew ketchup could be so exciting?

I also want to mention coming back home from the pizza place in our neighborhood. Ingrid and I had a nice talk again. Our group was a little on the rebellious side because it was past curfew and there were no buses and so we had to walk back to the Hogar in the dark… but it lead to our conversation about fear (and don’t worry parents… it wasn’t a dangerous walk. We were very close to the Hogar). Ingrid is a crazy woman. I say this in the best way possible. She loves to travel and to have adventures… but these adventures are sometimes on the scary side. Ingrid is a very tall German with blonde hair and blue eyes and so she’s easy to spot and that would make me be even more frightened about travelling. She has walked and camped along a beach by herself and has hitch hiked and has stayed at some random person’s house in the middle of the night in some country that I can’t remember and has done many many other things. I asked her if she was ever scared and she told me that she was at first, but she has more of the mindset that God has everything under control. She said that God would not let her die if He didn’t want her to. She finds comfort knowing that He knows exactly what is best for her and even if she ends up dying, she said that she knows it’s not an eternal death. I know many people who will read this and think that she’s absolutely crazy (in a negative way) and that she isn’t smart for travelling the way she does and saying what she says and not being careful, but I think that her point of view is very admirable. She wants to see the world and she wants to travel and so she does it knowing that she’s not travelling alone, but with the God of the universe watching over her. I know that I say that God has everything under control. I know that I also say God is with me wherever I go and that I trust God with all that I have, but sometimes I wonder if deep inside I truly believe it. That sounds terrible, doesn’t it? But it’s true. I’m not perfect. I want to believe it, but I guess it takes practice and it takes time to get to know God in a more intimate way so that I will be able to trust Him in everything I have in front of me. So I’ve got to trust God like I trust Raid. Haha, I’ve got a lot of work to do on myself folks and I’m realizing that it’s not going to be easy… but I have eight months here in Honduras for God to break me and build me up again… and I think it’s for the best.

October 3

So the other day, we had unexpected visitors. The ladies at the Infa were talking to us during lunch and telling us that there were Americans coming today. I was super excited because when we’re at the Infa, no one speaks English. I can’t explain how refreshing it is to actually understand what someone is trying to say to you. They were here to check out the Infa and see if there were small projects they could send a church down to help with. They took pictures and they asked us to take individual pictures of the kids that go to school so they could try and find people to sponsor them. It really excited me because these kids definitely need it. They seemed honestly concerned and I really hope that they send help to build on to the Infa so more kids who need help can stay there. They also left us a first aid which we definitely needed. Later that day, we had to make the kids brush their teeth and I noticed that there was one boy who was still in the bathroom. I asked him what he was doing and then I saw him spit up blood. It’s normal to see some of the kids spit up blood because the ones that don’t come every day don’t have toothbrushes or toothpaste at home. But Kevin kept spitting up blood. It wasn’t just because he hadn’t brushed in a while… it was because a tooth was gone. Well, I can’t say it was completely gone. It was so rotten that most of it had just come off. I saw some of the tooth still in the gum, but the rest was gone. I had no idea what to do. He looked like he was in a looot of pain. I don’t know anything about teeth or anything about anything and so I went into the first aid and I grabbed the gauze and some pain killers. Kevin is a boy that is usually smiling and extremely hyper (he likes to jump on my back when I least expect it), but he just sat in a corner looking down. It broke my heart. I made him take the medicine and had him bite down on the gauze. I really wish I could do more to help these kids.

There were also three other unexpected people who came the Infa that day… but these were kids. There were three siblings named Lourdes, Noe, and Angel. Nelson visited today and he said that their mother had left them and their father doesn’t know what to do because he goes to work and can’t take care of the kids. They don’t go to school… I’ve been trying to find out why, but I can’t figure it out. These kids were super shy at first. The eldest, Lourdes, didn’t talk very much, but now she jumps on me whenever she sees me… which gets very tiring after a while because it’s contagious. As soon as one person thinks, “wow, that looks like fun!” then there’s no end to the jumping. I kept feeling like I was going to fall over. Anyways, I’m glad that these kids warmed up to us fast. The kids looked like they hadn’t showered in a very long time. Two days later Tarynn and I noticed that they were wearing the same dirty clothes everyday. We took them to the back and we hand washed their clothes. Thankfully there was a person before us who bought a bag of soap. It’s not what I’m used to at home (a nice big bottle of good smelling goodness that you put into a convenient machine). It’s just a stick of soap that we have to scrub onto the clothes. Some of the other kids saw that we were washing their clothes and so they gave us theirs too. One of the boys had mold all over his shirt and his brother’s shirt smelled soooo bad that he doesn’t wear it. I rarely see this boy wearing a shirt… and I wouldn’t blame him. If I were a boy and my shirt smelled like something died, I wouldn’t wear it either. I haven’t smelled clean clothes in a long time. Don’t worry folks… I do clean my clothes. It’s just that nothing feels or smells completely clean to me. It’s okay though. I keep reminding myself that no one notices because everyone else smells just as lovely as I do!

September 28

Today, I beat Tarynn. Before you jump to conclusions and think I’ve suddenly turned violent, I’ll clarify. Tarynn eats faster than anyone I know. One minute the food is there and the next minute it’s gone. We’ve talked about this many times… especially when we’re eating baleadas and she finishes ten minutes before I do. She’s grown up in a very active family and she said that her brother’s only reason to stop to eat is to live. So whenever she ate, she ate quickly so she could go on and do the anything else that was more important. I, on the other hand, find food to be very important… not that I’m a slow eater… I’m just faster than Tarynn. Haha, but today, I beat her with our topoigios (little frozen treats). We both laughed when we realized how fast I had eaten and she suggested that I record this moment in my blog… and so I did. 

On to other things… we went to another water park type thing today, but this time it was with the Infa. The bus driver came to tell us that he would meet us at the escuela (elementary school) at around 10 and so we waited there for the bus. We saw the bus from a distance and there were kids heads and arms flying out all of the windows. It came closer and we heard our names being screamed by the whole bus of children. We realized that this was as close as we are ever going to get to being celebrities and so we enjoyed it while we could.

We arrived safely after fifteen minutes and we experienced a little déjà vu because when we got there, the main pool was drained. It seemed oddly familiar to the time when we went to the water park with the Hogar children and the main pool was drained. The kids were forced to swim at a smaller pool. I was surprised how nice this park was because it was free for the kids. Don’t get me wrong… it was still terribly dirty and extremely dangerous (there was this water dumping thing that was so strong that the younger kids couldn’t go on without us hugging them and making sure they wouldn’t get hurt). It was a fun day, but I am really tired of yelling at kids to stop doing things.

Anyways, things are going great here. It’s gotten a lot easier going through these days. The kids are still very hard to handle and they don’t listen… but they do have their shining moments. It also helps to know that people at home are thinking about me and praying for me. So thank you again for all of your support… it means the world to me.

Address!!

Hello hello! I keep forgetting to post the address!!

Reach International
El Hogar de Ninos
Shearin Matute
APDO 20
Santa Barbara, Honduras

The kids at the Infa don't have anything. They need shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrushes, cleaning supplies... shoes, clothes, toys... seriously anything that you figure every person should have.... because these kids most likely don't have them. If they do, it's usually only one pair and they're usually dirty and very worn. And if you don't think you can send anything, you can send me money and I'll let you know everything that I buy with it so you know where it's going. I can even take pictures if you want. Just get in contact with me.. send me an email at shearyberry@gmail.com. I may not answer right away because the internet isn't available all the time, but I will answer eventually. Thank you everyone for your concern and for your help. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.. and I know the kids will appreciate it too.

September 22

The president of Honduras has sneaked his way back into the country. Tarynn and I don’t really know too much about it, but he was kicked out of the country because of corruption and he was trying to stay president for longer. Someone told me that he is hiding in the Brazilian embassy now. I don’t know all the details… but this means that curfews are back in place now. Before this, there were just check points. There were Honduran soldiers or police… I’m not sure… but they would stand random places in the streets and stop trucks if they were suspicious. They worried me at first because they’ve got some pretty big guns on them, but I was assured that they’re there for our safety and to protect us against those people who are on the ex president’s side and are looking to cause trouble. Now no one is allowed in the streets between a certain time. Maria Jose is worried about riots and such so she said that we couldn’t go to the Infa today. She wants to see what happens and see if things clear up. She says there are mostly problems in a bigger city called Tegucigalpa, but she doesn’t want to risk anything.

School was also cancelled because of this and so all the kids stayed at the Hogar for the day. The kids had to do a massive cleaning in the morning because their rooms smelled like pee. It really was terrible. I had a hard time being in there and waking them up and putting them to bed on Sunday. I’m glad she had them do that. She had everything taken out of their rooms. I walked out into the courtyard and beds and shelves were everywhere. This was not so exciting… but after that, the kids made baleadas!! These did not have eggs or chicken, but they were still really good. After that, we all played water balloon volleyball. There were six people on a side. It was pretty sad because there wasn’t even a real net. There were two poles and then two lines of string for a “net.” The kids didn’t mind a bit because it worked. On each team, there were groups of two and those groups had a towel. We were supposed to catch the water balloon in the towel and fling it over the net with our partner. It was a lot of fun… but it was soooooo hot! I felt like fainting… until some of the boys took a big cooking pan and filled it with water and dumped it on me. Usually, I wouldn’t have wanted this to happen, but it felt so good after being in the hot sun. After volleyball, we went to the river again. This was a different place from the last time we went. This one had a little river pool. It was super deep and the kids were swinging on ropes and jumping in the water. It was also very dirty, but the other volunteers and I jumped in it anyway. The kids had a lot of fun and I’m glad we got to go.

I have to mention some other thing that bugs me like no other. There were creepers at the river… there were some at the water park too. They were just a bunch of older guys just kind of standing there in the water and watching the kids. The volunteers and I talked about punching them in the face, but instead, we decided to just watch our kids more carefully. Haha, we’re not really fond of the idea of dying in Honduras. I freaked out when I didn’t see two of the girls. I started asking all the volunteers where they were and one of them said they could see them under the bridge. I had a small heart attack. I’m becoming more and more protective of these kids. Even though I really miss home, it’s weird to think that when I do go home, the kids will still be here. I wish I could give them some of the stuff we have at home. I want to be able to take them to Disneyland or take them to a lake to go wake boarding or something like that.

Anyways, I feel like i’m a constant chaperone or school sponsor. I never realized how tiring it would be. I also feel like an old lady because even though it’s 9 (it’s 8 back at home), I’m about to pass out. Buenas noches.

September 21

I don’t know if the heat has really fried my brain, or if I’m just naturally forgetful… but either way, I neglected to tell you about a very exciting night that Tarynn and I had this past week. The mutant Honduran rain decided to pay us a visit the other night. I’m only remembering this because right now as I type, the rain is pouring so hard on the roof that I can barely hear anything and people are yelling. I almost feel like the rain is going to break the whole building down. I can feel the wind from outside in my room. The thunder doesn’t help me feel any safer either. Anyways, the other night, the killer rain decided to come through the roof onto Tarynn’s bed. The bottom half of Tarynn’s bed was soaked! We didn’t know what to do because Tarynn had to sleep somewhere and we were getting super tired. Since our beds were already pushed together, Tarynn suggested that we both sleep across the top halves of our beds. We really should’ve taken a picture because we looked pretty funny sleeping so smushed together. We stayed dry and we both actually slept okay. The next day, we had someone fix our leak. After we had someone go up on the roof to fix it, we almost regretted it because it sounded like the roof was going to collapse. We also saw his fingers come through the roof in a different spot and we can still see the sun through it. That spot only leaks a little and it’s not over our beds, so we’ve accepted that one. There’s also another little leak by the entrance of our room, but it’s not as bad. Haha, I guess we just can’t escape the killer rain.


Another exciting thing… I found another Jane Austen lover. Okay, well… it may not be exciting for you, but this was very exciting for ME. I’m sure it’s not hard to find a Jane Austen lover, but I still felt very happy… especially finding one in Honduras. I glimpsed at the book that Txus was reading and I thought it said Jane Austen. I was right! She was reading Pride and Prejudice. It is her favorite book… and mine too. I lent her mine because she wanted to read it in English. It’s a good thing I already finished it otherwise I’d have a little trouble parting with it. Tarynn opened up to a page and read a little bit of it to see if she might be interested in reading it after Txus. She read a few lines and then closed the book. Haha, I guess it’s not for everyone.

September 20

It’s Tarynn’s birthday today! We had to work today, but we got someone to cover us so that we could go to lunch and have some baleadas!! Woohoo! And after baleadas, we had some ice cream… woohoo again! After lunch we had to come back to supervise the kids at the pool. Yes, they have a pool… but it’s green… more like an algae pool than a swimming pool. It’s not always like this, but today, it was disgusting. The kids still wanted to swim and so Txus said to let them. They kept asking us why we weren’t swimming with them and I kept reminding them that the pool was green. These kids don’t care one bit about dirt... but I’m sure kids all around the world are like that. While we were watching the kids, some of the other ones were catching horses and riding them. If that sounds crazy to you, it’s probably because it is. I figure that the horses don’t have enough energy to really resist… most of the horses you’ll see are just skin and bones.

Ingrid came up to us while we were making sure the kids weren’t killing each other. She asked us if we wanted to go to the river. Of course, we agreed. After getting the kids out of the pool, we all started walking. It was maybe a forty five minute walk… especially longer with the kids. The walk was absolutely beautiful. There were trees surrounding the path and green everywhere. We had a few problems on the way, but we got over them. The first problem we encountered were the bulls. There were around 15 kids that went with us and so when the bulls came near us on the path, they were freaking out. One of the older girls would not keep walking. She turned around and headed back so Tarynn had to go get her. Some of the younger ones started to cry and I had some kids behind me and we just waited until they passed. Our next little problem was Margori. She had to use the bathroom. One of the boys was being a big jerk and wouldn’t leave so that she could do her business. I had to drag him some of the way and then pretend to race him the rest of it so that he started to run. If you get grossed out easily, you may want to skip over this next part. Tarynn told me that she didn’t just need to go to the bathroom. She really needed to go. She went “number two” and then went on and grabbed a leaf to finish off the job. She even got some on her shoes… it was a mess. There’s nothing like the great outdoors, hu?

The next problem we came to was the soccer game. There was a random field on the way to the river and there was a soccer game going on. The boys all wanted to stay. I would’ve said no, but Ingrid said it was okay. She had been a volunteer the year before and so she knows a lot more than I do, so I trust her. Some of the girls wanted to stay, but we definitely said no to that. So we… actually… Ingrid had to argue with the kids. It took a while, but finally we kept going. The river was pretty dirty, but it was still beautiful. There were mountains around us and large rocks that we had to jump across to get the river. I’m terrible with words so I can’t explain it... but it was beautiful.

The kids didn’t want to leave, but because we took so long getting there, we had to leave earlier. We had to get back before dark and before dinner. This is when the last problem happened. Some kids were running ahead of us and they jumped onto the back of the truck. I was further behind so I didn’t know what was happening. I saw Ingrid yelling at them and the truck went off with some of the kids in the back. When I caught up to her, she said that she told them to get off because she didn’t know who these people were, but the kids just laughed and went anyway. They waved at her as the car drove away. Ingrid was really mad when they left. We had no choice but to keep going. On the way, we saw some of the kids sitting on the side of the path. Ingrid yelled at them some more in Spanish. I love these kids, but it’s really hard to be patient when they don’t listen. It’s hard to get them to start doing things or to stop doing things. It’s a huge battle especially when you don’t speak Spanish. Some of them have even made Tarynn and I cry, but we know that they’ve been through a lot and they need our love.

Ingrid and I were talking on the way back after we found all the kids. She talked about how experiences like this give her a little glimpse of what God has to go through when he deals with us. He loves us so much and we disobey all the time even when all he wants is the best for us and for us to be safe. She said that she can’t be mad at them for very long because even though it hurts her when they don’t listen, she does the same thing to God. It’s so true. I’m sure parents feel this all the time when their kids don’t obey or when they do things that will hurt themselves. Thing is, God feels this pain all the time. And it’s not just for one child, it’s for countless people. He has a deep deep deeeeeep love for every human being... so imagine what He has to go through when so many people hurt him at once. I can’t even comprehend it. Sometimes I wonder why God keeps on loving us, but I can’t forget that He has called us His children. I think He gave people that parent-child bond to show us a little bit of what God goes through… because although it brings a whole lot of pain, the love between parent and a child also brings indescribable happiness too.

September 19

Happy Sabbath everyone!!

Today, Txus forgot about us. We were supposed to be the second group to go to church and we waited for a while until Amanda came and said we should probably start walking. The church is a little under a mile to get to and it wouldn’t have been too bad if we weren’t melting from the heat. We also had to walk though tall grass behind the Hogar to get to the road because the gate was locked. It scares me to think that tarantulas and snakes could have been very close to my feet without me knowing it. Anyways, I don’t want to dwell on tarantulas too long. After walking through the tall grass, we walked on the road. This road scares me half to death too. It’s like walking on a highway. Some of the drivers don’t care enough to slow down or move over just in case. When cars zip by, it’s like a gust of wind and sometimes I shiver thinking about how close they are to us. Tarynn and I walk this road everyday to get to the bus stop. I don’t know if I can ever get used to these fast cars so close to us. I felt sorry for the group of us that had to walk, but when I got there, I talked to one of the girls living at the Infa and she told me her story. She says that she walked all the way from the Infa. They left at 8 in the morning to get there. I instantly felt very foolish (I’m not one to use the word foolish very often, but I’ve been reading Pride and Prejudice and the word foolish seems very appropriate… haha, don’t make fun of me). This whole time I’ve been complaining to myself about how unfair it was that we had to walk, but this girl had to walk a lot further than we did. Tarynn and I take the bus to go to the Infa every day. We were so surprised when she said she had to walk that distance. I feel like I’ve taken a lot of things for granted and I’m realizing that here. There are so many things that these kids don’t have and at home I don’t think twice about having it. I’m definitely realizing that I need to be more thankful for everything because I am blessed with a lot more than I deserve.

September 18

So tonight we had the signature Adventist dish… haystacks. Except in Honduras, they have their own way of making it. They don’t have tortilla chips, so they use banana chips. I’m supposed to serve the kids and the first time we had “bananastacks,” or tajadas in espanol. I was very confused. The girls pointed at the banana chips so that I would serve that first. Then they pointed at the other stuff and I started to put it on the side of their plate. They proceed to laugh at me because every Adventist that’s grown up with the church knows how to make a haystack. I, however, stand my ground in saying that bananastacks are something completely different. ;)

Here in Honduras, there’s a thing called the soda phenomenon. Well, I’ve actually only heard of two cases, but I’m positive that it exists. It’s been affecting Tarynn and me every day. Tarynn and I crave sodas at all times. It doesn’t help that we’re in town everyday with the pulperias calling our names. Tarynn craves Coke and I crave orange Fanta. This is very out of the ordinary because Tarynn and I don’t drink soda at home. I refuse to drink soda at home because I find it so disgusting. And now we come here and it’s all we crave (that and of course bread, ice cream, bagel bites, jamba juice, pizza, etc… but those don’t count because I crave that all the time ). Anyways on to what I was going to say… this phenomenon led us to a pulperia. There are these pulperias, or little stands, everywhere. This one in particular had a very nice lady working at it. We had been there before, but we didn’t say much to her. Today we figured that we’re already slaves to the soda phenomenon and we might as well get to know the lady who is going to be feeding our cravings with her pulperia. We asked her what her name was and I really wish I could tell you what it was, but that’s absolutely impossible. We asked her what it was again and she blurted out this long jibberish and we were again very confused. She laughed at us silly Americans and she said to just call her Tonia. And so began our beautiful friendship with Tonia. We told her that we worked at the Infa and that we live at the Hogar de Ninos. Then she showed us a picture of some of her family that lives in North Carolina. She said that there was an American that came to Honduras and he met her daughter or niece or something and then came back to marry her later. And yes, this was all in Spanish. It was pretty hard to converse, but the lady was patient and she used her hands a lot. Then she gave us these frozen treats and two coconut bars for us to eat on the way back. This, amigos, is the way to my heart. Tonia, the pulperia lady is our new best friend.

Also, I thought I’d let you know… The bug bites are increasing. Honduras bugs are very grumpy. I thought they’d be kind and give me a break after a while, but no. It’s like they bite me and then go tell their friends to do the same. Boo for bug peer pressure.

September 17

I now have a deeper understanding and respect for the saying “it’s raining cats and dogs.” Before I continue on with my story, I have to tell you that I cannot and will not accept that Honduras rain can ever be in the same category as California rain. This rain was made to kill. This rain was made to start disaster. This rain was made to soak Tarynn and I because we eat too much. ;)

Right before taking the bus, we saw Txus (pronounced choos.. she’s from Spain), one of the ladies in charge, at the center of Santa Barbara. She was loading like 20 of our kids into a van. They were all smashed in the van and it we were very surprised to see them. She asked if we wanted to ride with them, but we looked at each other with a little concern. We had just bought a slice of cake for each of us and we were pretty sure we could not bring it into the van without a riot of some sort. So instead letting heads fly, we decided to take the bus instead. There wasn’t much room anyways. Tarynn and I got on the bus and enjoyed our cake (mine was pineapple and hers was chocolate). On the way back, we saw the van fly by us because the bus had to make a lot of stops. We were already regretting that we hadn’t taken it. Next thing that happened was the mutant rain. It started while we were riding on the bus and by then we had completely regretted taking the bus. The bus stop isn’t right next to the Hogar. We have to walk quite a ways before we get to the Hogar. We could’ve made the journey quicker by running, but we were soaking wet anyway. We accepted our fate and we walked in the rain, laughing the whole way. When we got there, there was a group of kids there to laugh at us. One of the girls, Cindi, even came out into the rain to give us hugs. We greeted the rest of them with our wet hugs and we decided that this all happened because of our deep desire for carbs.

Today at the Infa, Nelson showed up and he talked to us for a bit. What he said really touched my heart and made want to do some much more at the Infa. He talked about some of the backgrounds of the kids. One of the girls, Anaely, is a sad case. Nelson said that people were sponsoring her because she was so sickly and she was going to die for sure if she did not get food and care. Nelson said that somehow they got money to give Anaely’s mother and they gave her food everyday. After a while, she had not gotten better. She had only gotten worse. Finally, they took her into the Infa during the day and fed her there. She started to improve and now she’s running and laughing and although she is very very very very skinny, she has food and she isn’t in danger of death. Nelson went to his mother and asked her what she had been doing with all of Anely’s food, but her mother told her that she didn’t know. She wouldn’t talk to Nelson. He said that later he found out that she had Leukemia and she died from it. Anaely now lives with her grandmother and Nelson is trying to get her to go to stay at the Hogar because she still needs help and her grandmother cannot give her all the help she needs, but the grandmother won’t let her leave. I thought it was so sad that even though Nelson wants to help Anaely, he can’t do much because her family won’t let her have the opportunity that she could have. Knowing her background, I just wanted to love her more. She always jumps on us and hugs us when she see’s us. She’s such a happy girl and I really hope her grandmother will change her mind. He said that he’d arrange a time for us to see the different families at the Infa. He wants us to understand what these kids have to go through and I want to know. It makes me want to do so much more and be more involved with these kids. He said that if we have an idea of things to do with these kids, we should just do it. The ladies in charge are not going to tell us to do stuff. We have to take things in our own hands. If we want to paint a room or start an English class or whatever else, we have to just jump right into it. There’s so much we want to do for the kids and Tarynn and I quickly told Nelson that we have been talking to people back home to help send stuff for the kids. He then told us that it’s a great thing that we’re looking to give them stuff, but he wanted to make sure we knew that first and foremost, these kids need love. He told us a story of a kid who used to work in the Center of Santa Barbara and he would shine shoes for his job. He did this while his brothers would play around at the Center. He acted super tough and even though he was young, he had a lot of muscles. Nelson brought them to him and whenever he would see them, he would play with the younger kids and hug them, but he didn’t hug the older boy. He would just talk to him because he figured that he didn’t want any hugs because he was too cool for that kind of thing. One day, Nelson was driving into the Hogar and the boy was sitting by the entrance with his head down. Nelson tried to find out what happened, but the boy wouldn’t tell him. When Nelson started to leave, the boy called his name. He asked him why he wouldn’t hug him like he hugged the other boys. He asked him why he wouldn’t love him like the other boys. All these kids want is love because no one loved them before. Nelson emphasized that whatever we do, we need to hug these kids and love these kids and let them know that they are important. He said that even if it seems like they aren’t thankful for it now, they will remember it for the rest of their lives. Nelson just got a call from one of the older boys at the Hogar and he said that he was sorry for not being more thankful for all that was done for him. He now realizes how great he had it and he called to thank him. Things like that really touch my heart. Nelson is really making a difference in these children’s lives and I’m excited to do the same. Today, when playing with the kids, I can’t really explain it, but I felt very energized and I felt different. I had always known that I wanted to love these kids because they didn’t have anyone to love them, but now somehow I feel it too.

Also, to anyone reading this, if you’re wondering if there are any ways to help… I have a few ways. You can always send any necessities… toothpaste, shampoo, toothbrushes, toys, clothes, etc. Or you can send me money to buy stuff for them. Either way would be wonderful. I will post the address soon. I can’t remember it for the life of me. Thanks everyone for all your prayers and for your help. It really means a lot!

September 16 - water parks in honduras make me nervous

Today we went to a water park. Yeah, I didn’t know they had those in Honduras… but they do. Tarynn used one word to describe it… sketchy.

The kids were really excited to go. Nelson told them the day before that if they finished chopping the grass then they could go to the water park. The kids got up (both boys and girls) at 5 in the morning to start chopping the grass. The kids all have machetes and they’re chopping the grass… it’s beyond dangerous. I can’t even explain how nervous I was for them. One of the girls sliced their knee open and she had to get stitches. But at the end of the day, it was all okay because they got to go to the water park. So we all woke up at 4:15 today to get ready. I didn’t sleep much at all last night so it was extra hard to get up. Then we all got into a bus (the poor bus driver) and we drove for 3 hours to the park. We went in and the first pool we see was empty. No agua at all. Then I find out that this pool was the main pool with the two main slides and there are other little ones around, but that’s it. After this large disappointment, we head to the beach. On the way to the beach there was a zoo. This water park was a weird mixture of all three. There was the slide-pool-water-park stuff/zoo stuff/beach stuff. The beach was beyond dirty, but the kids still had fun. I have to say that the animals were the coolest part. I also have to say that it made me a little nervous because there were jaguars, large snakes, large ostriches, etc. ….and you never know if these gates in Honduras are the real deal. Anyways, the kids had fun and that’s what really matters.

Some of us were talking about the ladies who run this place the other day. They’re sisters and one of them is on vacation in Mexico. These ladies are amazing. They’ve pretty much given their lives for these kids. Txus used to work as a teacher in America. She said that she worked near PUC for a little bit, but when she came to visit her sister, Maria Jose and saw all the help that was needed, she couldn’t stay working where she was. She left her good job and comfortable life in America and came to live here and raise these kids. They’ve given up everything to be a mother to these children who didn’t have anyone. Even though a lot of the kids don’t appreciate it, they continue. It’s a hard hard hard job, but they’re here anyway. It’s beyond admirable and I’m positive that God’s going to give them some pretty sweet rewards in heaven. They deserve it.

September 14

I killed some more lice today. It’s not that it’s a very important piece of information.. and you probably don’t care that much. I just wanted to remind you that yes, I am still killing lice like the professional lice killer I am.

A more important fact: I’m sick. This sickness has been going around and I’ve had it since Saturday. I’ve been pushing myself to stay in bed all day. I’ve been able to catch up on a little bit of Pride and Prejudice, a book that I love… I’m guilty of reading it through many times. Other than Pride and Prejudice, it’s been pretty boring laying in bed all day, but I think it helped. Tarynn got to go to the river with some of the older girls… I was good and I stayed in bed. I cheated on Sunday when Tarynn and I took Fernando to lunch for his birthday. With my excellent Spanish, I struggled to ask him what he was going to do for his birthday. He said that he was going to church. At first I thought that his church was throwing a party for him, but he said that he was going to play piano for them. When I realized that, I asked him if he was going to have a fiesta, but he said no. He told me that his mother left on a trip with his two brothers and his sister was gone for the day. No one remembered that it was his birthday. He didn’t go with them because he had to play for church. Then I asked about his friends. I asked if he was going to have a fiesta with any of them and if they knew it was his birthday. He said that only his amigas did… and he said our names. I felt sooooo bad then. I wish we could’ve done more for him. I was so glad that we took him out to eat yesterday. We ate baleadas (which were heavenly) and we had some ice cream after (this was even more heavenly… ice cream never fails to make me happy). Then we asked him if he wanted anything for his birthday and he said he wanted shoes. So we went to the market and bought him shoes… for less than 20 bucks! Not bad, hu? Thing is, those weren’t the shoes he really wanted. They were nice, but he really wanted other ones in a store that was closed. We told him we’d buy them for him, but he couldn’t return the other shoes. It was sad, but at least he got new shoes for school.

Oh! And I forgot to mention that I sound like a man. Some of the kids make fun of me… especially Fernando. One of the boys called my voice bonito with an emphasis on the O... which is pretty much calling me a man. My voice drops like 10 octaves when I get sick. It’s like I’m back to my high school drama/theater days… Haha, don’t ask.

Another random useless piece of information: my bug bites are HUGE. They’re like little red mountains on my skin. When I showed some of the kids, they looked at me wide eyed and asked what it was. I had no idea how to say mosquito and so I just used my finger to act out a little bug flying and landing on them to bite them. They just laughed at the silly “china” girl who can’t take bug bites. Hehe. Oh well. Hopefully the bugs will lay off after a while.

Tengo hambre. Voy a comer. Hasta luego!

September 11

It’s September 11 and I feel weird not being home. Tarynn and I talked about where we both were when we first heard about the plane crashes into the World Trade Center. I don’t know why, but I feel like I should be home today. I feel like I should be home to remember the families and all the people who were killed. It’s weird knowing that things are passing by at home without me being there. It’s weird that September 11 is just another day to people here while it has so much meaning to me and people from America. I don’t know if I make any sense, but that’s what my little Filipino brain is thinking.

Anyways, today has been disappearing quickly… and our bread is another thing that has been disappearing quickly. I feel like I’ve eaten enough carbs to last me a lifetime. Some people said that I’d lose weight and other said that I’d gain it… Knowing my appetite, I’m pretty sure I know which one is going to happen. One of the first days here, Tarynn and I found an exercise tape and we’re planning to take advantage of it this weekend. We want to try and rope some of the girls into doing it with us too. They may think we’re crazy, but I’d rather be crazy than gordita. Sorry, I get way off track… I was going to talk about the Infa. We took Laurel with us to the Infa today. She’s a new volunteer from Southern. She was supposed to go to Africa, but something went wrong and she couldn’t go. The kids were really good to her and gave her lots of hugs and they renamed her like they renamed Tarynn. Laurel’s new name is Laura.

On Sunday, it’s Fernando’s birthday. We’re really excited because it’s our day off and Tarynn and I are going to take him out to eat baleadas and to have some ice cream. He’s one of the older boys at the Infa and he’s very very helpful. He’s the one that helped us find a piñata and candy for yesterday. I’m a big fan of this kid. He also made my job easier today when I was making sure the kids did their chores. I had to make sure that the boys were cleaning the bathroom (I wouldn’t really call it cleaning the bathroom, but I won’t argue). Fernando ended up doing more than he had to and telling the boys to do what they needed to do.