May 8

Today I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. It was my parents wishing me a happy birthday. It was a good start to my day. No matter what happened today, I knew it was going to be a good weekend because Tarynn bought me a cake (she’s pretty much awesome) and we officially named tomorrow cake day. We had been eyeing this cake for a long time and we finally get to eat it tomorrow. That made the whole weekend seem a lot brighter. After I came back from a nearby ministry that we do on Sabbaths, the kids were all waiting by my door. I didn’t think anything of it. I just figured they wanted to come in and listen to music or something. I walked in saw my bed filled with flower petals and there were high school musical balloons taped to my ceiling. There were also papers all across my wall saying Feliz Cumpleaños. Some of the older girls had put it in my room while I was gone. Kids made me cards and gave me many hugs and they all sang to me when we were all gathered together for worship outside. It‘s difficult being away from family, but the closer it gets to departure time, the harder it gets because I have family here too.

May 4

I continued up the rocky path carrying a baby in my arms. Arms shaking and drenched in sweat, I wondered if it was because of my excess arm fat or if it was possible that the baby was growing larger and heavier by the minute. Kids swarmed around Tarynn and I, with as much energy as one could possibly have climbing a mountain. I imagined them trekking up the path in the pouring rain and on days where the sun is unbearably strong. Unlike my spoiled ways, these kids don‘t have a bus to take them home. We finally arrived at the first house and we met the mom of Leila, Paola, Wualdina, and Oscarito. The house was made out of mud and sticks, but she still invited us to sit on the stool she set out for us. Her and all of the other families were all happy to see us and welcomed us to sit down and to see their houses. They all lived very close to each other and so the kids would follow us to each person’s house. Seeing the families of the children reminded me of what these kids have to go to at the end of the day. Sometimes I forget that these kids don’t have very much. When I see them at the Infa, I don‘t think about how they may be going hungry at home or how they may be sleeping in dirt or how their house may be flooding in the pouring rain. I only see them laughing and playing together. If these poor children can laugh and play with the little that they have, why is it sometimes very difficult for me to be happy and content with all that I have?

May 3

I always feel a little hesitant when the kids give me gifts. I know it’s terrible to say, but it’s true. It’s just that the majority of the time, they have a bug in their hands that they try to give me. There was this one time some of the kids gave me a “gift.” It was wrapped in nice pink paper and they carefully taped flowers on the outside. At first I thought it was really sweet, but as I watched all the kids gathering around me with eager, mischievous eyes and their excited voices asking for a camera, I realized that they were preparing to witness me scream in surprise. I carefully opened the gift and saw a can that had a horned beetle inside. Everyone thought it was hilarious (except me of course). One day I’m expecting to see a dead tarantula in our room. That day will definitely make it into this blog. Let’s just hope it never ever happens.

May 2

So my trouble child has calmed down recently. Remember that girl that I told you would call me a dirty old hag, yell at me, and slam doors in my face? Well, she’s the one that’s gotten better. She actually came in my room yesterday and showed me an injured bird that she found. She took a picture with me and the bird (she put it on my head) and I took a picture with her, her brother, and the bird. I was extremely surprised that she would actually come to me and say something especially because often when I tried to talk to her earlier this week, she would just cover her ears and start making noises so she couldn’t hear me. I’m going to be perfectly honest with you. It’s been a struggle to love this child. I’ve been praying over her every time I have to deal with her. Some days I feel like I should reach my hand out and help her. Other days I just feel angry and I want her to feel the same pain that she’s causing me to feel and more. I know it sounds terrible, but that’s what I truly think. This place has really brought out the worst in me. But I believe that God has let the worst come out of me so that I can acknowledge its presence and fix it. He’s showed me the deepest parts of me that I never wanted to see and is showing me that these ugly parts can be turned beautiful with His help.

April 29

In case you were wondering, classes are still continuing at the Infa. We have them every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It’s still a struggle to get the kids to stay especially when the sun is squeezing ridiculous amounts of sweat from us and the kids have the choice between classes and bathing in the river. Sometimes I guilt them into staying, other times I plead with them, other times I play up the fact that they get a lollipop afterwards, and other times I tell them I’ll tell their parents if they don’t stay. I do what I have to.

Anyways, during class I work with a few of the kids who are especially behind in their reading. My main students are Alfredo and Yenson. Today I only had Alfredo and I have to say I was relieved to be able to focus on one kid for a day. We’ve been working on the vowels since classes have started and he’s improved tremendously. At first he didn’t understand what a letter was or what a word was. When I’d ask him to tell me a word, he’d say a letter (or a sound). When I explained to him, he said he understood. Then when I’d ask him again, he would say a letter again or even “uppercase” or “lowercase.” Now he’s doing better. I decided to just focus on the letter A until he got it. It’s taken a while, but he’s understanding that the different letters stand for different sounds and those make up words. Now he’s learned A, E, I, and O. Sometimes he gets confused, but I’m really excited that he’s at least moving forward. It’s also exciting because he’s excited too. He always asks for more homework and doesn’t complain or misbehave like he used to during class. When I get frustrated, I try to remember that at least we’re getting somewhere and he is learning something.

Patience. Patience. Patience.

April 28

I walked into our room to the smell of Raid welcoming me back from devotional. Raid always gives me mixed feelings. I’m glad that it helps me feel safe, but at the same time it means that there is a dead insect somewhere and I still have to deal with that. I peeked around the corner into the bathroom to find Tarynn with Raid bottle in hand and a pile of ants on the floor. She said that she was about to take a shower, but decided to spray a line of mutant ants before she hopped in. After she sprayed their line, they decided to all come out of their hiding place. She described it like a movie. They all started flowing out of the hole in the wall and there were ants everywhere. At first she was overwhelmed and didn’t know what to do and then she started stomping on the little critters and picked up my friend Raid to help her out. Good thing for Tarynn because if I had to face a sea of mutant ants, I may have shed some tears and this story would have been a lot more dramatic.

April 27

I’m going to miss the rain here. I remember when I first experienced the mutant rain. We were in devotional and there was no possible way that anything could be heard. The speaker had to shout to get us to hear him and even then, it wasn‘t too successful. At first I did not think of it as a positive thing… especially when Tarynn and I had to sleep across both of our beds because the bottom half of hers was wet. But as this country has grown on me, so has the rain. I always love the nights that the rain starts to pour. I love the fact that you can’t hear anyhthing but the rain crashing on whatever gets in its way. Last night the mutant drops rushed down with its usual fury. I could’ve sat watching it pour all night, but instead, I joined the fun. I had already put the girls to bed and there were only a couple of the older kids up. I was playing around with Nabil telling her that I would push her in the water. She of course, being way stronger than I am tried to push me in. I was ready and willing to be soaked… the problem was getting her to get in with me. I risked falling in the mud and as she pushed me, I pulled her down with all my strength. We were soaking wet the second we stepped out of the covering. There was no point in going back under the covering and so we played in the rain and in the puddles. I love how this place makes me do things I would never do back at home. When was the last time you’ve played in the rain and splashed in puddles? Am I going crazy? Could be… but God gave us his creation not only to see his perfection and beauty, but to enjoy it… and that’s what I’m going to do.

April 26

So this short blog is dedicated to the Santa Clarita Pathfinders. They’ve sent me boxes with toothbrushes, combs, coloring books, activities for the kids, and prayers. It’s an awesome thing to see people coming together to work for God. Not only are my kids touched to know that people are sending them love from far away lands, but I’m also deeply touched. I know I’m still a youngin, but after having my own “children,” I think it’s such a beautiful thing to see young people doing this for others. I hope my kids here are filled with the same kind of love for others as they continue to grow. God’s love is definitely shining through the Santa Clarita Pathfinders and I’m so glad to have witnessed it. I thought I’d post a few pictures of the kids and their works of art. Thanks again Pathfinders!

April 24

The dinner bell rang and the kids all rushed into the cafeteria to stuff food down their faces. I sat down at my table with the little girls and I noticed that one girl was missing. I asked where she was and they said that she was in the kitchen. I looked over and there she was tears running down her face and she was motioning me to come over. Worried, I over and she pulled me in the kitchen and she showed me her tooth. It was a wiggler. She was scared of having someone pull it out, but she also didn’t want to eat because it hurt. I was thinking about how often do we do the same thing in our lives. We hold on so tightly to things that hurt us when all we have to do is have God help us take it out of our lives. When he does take away the things that hurt us, something new and stronger will grow in its place. Haha, yes, all this from a tooth.

April 22

We got to go to the water park today with the Infa kids. I was actually excited to go this time because this time I wouldn’t be as sketched out to get in the water. Of course they were still filled with angry bugs that like to bite, but I figured that if I‘ve been in the river, this could not be any worse. The bus arrived at the Hogar to pick me up and we all headed for the water park singing songs at the top of our lungs. When we got there, I was supposed to supervise the deep pool (deep as in up to my shoulders). I hoped to get rid of my sandal tan, but I’m convinced that it’s more permanent than fixable.

After lunch, I switched to watch the younger kids in the shallow pool. It was exhausting. Kids would continually call my name and demand my attention so that I could watch them go down the slide or dunk their head in the water. Some of the adults would make fun of me and call my name too. There was no break time… I looked from one kid sliding forwards to another kid on the other slide sliding back words. I looked from one kid jumping in the pool to another one doing jumps from the slide (I scolded those ones). It was chaos, but I tried to remember how I felt when I was a kid and when I wanted someone to watch me dunk my head in the water or jump in the pool. “Look what I can do!” were the words that my parents would constantly hear. Then they would pretend like I just did something spectacular that no one else in the world has ever done and tell me how special I was. That’s when I’d feel like a rock star and call them again and again leaving my parents exhausted from watching me repeat my cannonball or head dunk a million times over. We don’t realize the many little things that parents put up with until we have to do the same thing. Props to those parents around the world that make their children feel like their cannonball is even cooler than the one they did 5 seconds earlier.