September 6

I have officially named Tarynn my hero. She went to look in the bathroom last night and there were like 5 cockroaches in the shower and another one just on the floor. She then proceeded to grab the Raid (I will forever be a spokesperson for Raid) to kill all of those flying, dirty creatures. After she killed them, I rolled up a wad of toilet paper for her and she picked them up and threw them away. Then there was a group of ants that showed up. These ants are not normal ants. They’re on steroids. These ants are HUGE. She sprayed more of the bug stuff on them and at first it seemed like more and more were showing up, but eventually, they all died. We had a lot of dead mutant ants in our shower. We talked to one of the girls from southern named Hannah, and she gave us the 411 on the bugs. She actually came in with her gloves and piece of paper and cleaned it for us while we were getting the kids ready this morning. The cockroaches can swim, that’s why they’re in our shower. They’re living in the cracks or in the drain and they come out just for fun and try to make us pee our pants. The ants are there because they know we hate cockroaches and they’re ready to pick up the leftovers. I stared at the drain while I showered just in case one of the cockroaches decided to swim upstream. I’m so happy Tarynn is here, otherwise I would be showering in the rain. Yeah, I pretty much owe her my life. You may think I’m dramatic… and that’s possible. But I can’t help it. Bugs scare me.

Anyways, on to other things… We had to get the kids up this morning. I felt terrible getting up this morning because of my lack of sleep. I’m looking more and more china. ;) I had to get the girls up this morning. I made sure they took a shower and did their chores. They had to sweep the floor, mop the floor, clean the shower, organize their shoes, take out the trash, and take out the laundry. Cindi’s job was to sweep the floor, but instead of only sweeping it, she took out the trash and organized the shoes also. The girls that were supposed to do that were gone for the weekend. She’s such a good girl. She obeys and does more than she’s asked with a little grin on her face. I love all these girls. Some of them are difficult, but I’m trying very hard to be patient with all of them. and there’s one especially that can get on my nerves, but I know that she’s been through a lot and I’m asking God to give me patience with her. Her name is Yenny and she’s had a very hard life. She has AIDS and she almost died last year. She has to deal with a lot. I had to give her medication this morning and more again tonight. She doesn’t obey when I tell her to do her chores and most of the day, she calls my name and tells me to go over to her. When I do, she laughs and says my name again. I go back to what I’m doing and she does it again. She just says my name and Tarynn’s name over and over again and then has no reason to do it. That’s it. I get really frustrated because I may be doing something with a kid or helping someone or whatever else and she just keeps saying my name over and over again and tries to get my attention even though I tell her to wait until I’m finished. I know that she needs love, and I know I’m terrible, but I’m going to admit, it’s very hard showing her that I love her because I get frustrated.

After lunch, we had pool duty. This is where we watch the kids. The lady we go to in case of discipline problems or anything is Maria Jose. She told us to not let them run, jump in the pool weird, or anything like that. I can’t tell you how hard it is to communicate this to them when I speak a different language. Kids were twisting, jumping, making pyramids, and splashing each other. I felt like everyone was doing what we didn’t want to do and it was chaos. We tried to tell them to stop Finally, we talked to Miguel and he said it was okay because when he was swimming, they did that all the time.



Later today:

I’m seriously about to cry. This morning was hard to get everyone up and ready, but tonight was really bad. I have such a hard language barrier and these girls don’t listen to me. I mean some do, but tonight, they were beyond stubborn. I ask them to do something and they laugh in my face. They were playing and someone got hurt. I told them to stop, but they kept doing it and there’s a crying girl in the corner and girls playing with a towel and another girl that’s constantly calling my name and other girls playing with a gameboy that I need to take away and another girl that is just running around hitting someone. It’s like having 11 children at once and having to control all of them at once. I love them and I don’t want to be mean, but I have to be. This is so hard for me. I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do. Pray for me because my patience is running thin. One of the girls, Yenny, who has AIDS had a cut today… she kicked a table in the kitchen. That alone makes me freak out. The kids will eat off the table, no problem. I feel like it’s not a big deal to the staff, but it is! It’s a very big deal! There are children here with cuts and things are easily passed because this place isn’t exactly the most sanitary of places. I was really upset when Tarynn and I went to Maria Jose and asked about putting a bandage on her toe. Maria Jose said that she doesn’t need one. She said that it stopped bleeding. She said that it’s more of an issue in the states than it is over here. They say that it doesn’t matter as much. It may matter where we live, but they don’t worry about it. It’s like they don’t realize how serious that is. It’s very serious! And the girl keeps pretending like it’s bleeding to get attention and she doesn’t understand that I don’t want to joke around when it comes to this. It’s so hard. I get so frustrated so easily and I thought I had patience to deal with it. This wasn´t the only thing that was hard. We had to watch the pool too. Today was just terrible. I feel like I can´t do it. I want to be able to because I really love these kids already... it´s just so hard. it´s so so so hard. Anyways, there was one thing that kept me sane. When all the girls were finally in their beds, angry or not, they told me to sing to them. I wasn’t in the mood, but I sang the praise songs that they wanted me to so they could sleep and it made me remember why I came here in the first place.

Please pray for me. I’m tired and I´m overwhelmed.