March 9

Again with the sad moments… Maria gave me a letter telling me that I’m like a sister to her and that she loves me and that I’m always in her heart. She said that when I go, I have to tell everyone there about the Hogar and she said not to forget about her. She also said that I should study hard so that I can return someday to see her. I wanted to cry. I still have 3 months left! Am I ever going to see these kids again?? I don’t want to lose contact with them, but how am I going to do that when the kids are so far and they don’t exactly have a lot of internet or phone access. This is going to be very hard.

I had talked to one of the teachers at the high school and asked if she would come help kids at the Infa who couldn‘t read. She had done this program before, but stopped for some reason. The volunteer that took care of the Infa before had paid her $2.50 for each hour. She agreed to start it up again. I would do it, but my Spanish isn’t perfect and I can’t help the kids the way someone like her could. I told a few of the kids who couldn’t read to stay and I bribed them with lollipops. We waited and waited but she never showed up. Some of the kids really wanted her to come and I was really excited about it too. It was a huge disappointment for me when she never showed up. I’m hoping she just forgot because I’m not wanting to give up on this.

Um so in the middle of this blog, a little mouse decided to grace us with its presence. So now I’m here refusing to step off of my bed and Carlitos (works maintenance) searched for the mouse. After 5 minutes of searching, he decided that it wasn’t going to show up and that we’d have to call him if we see it again. So for now, Tarynn and I have a new little roommate.

March 4

I feel like I have lice crawling all over me. There are two new girls at the Infa and they’ve got some serious lice problems. Every time I combed through their hair with the lice comb that the group from Andrews gave us, 5 lice would fall out… sometimes more. I’m not exaggerating. The poor kids are scratching their heads all the time. So today, I shampooed their heads with lice shampoo. Usually kids squirm and protest, but these girls did it willingly. So now after shampooing their heads and combing through it, I feel like the lice have jumped onto my head. We’ve been taught the valuable from preschool that it’s good to share. I guess these kids haven’t forgotten.

Another special moment happened while I was scrubbing uniforms. Paola came up behind me and watched me for a little bit (she is such a cutie). She started asking me questions about my family and where I live. She looked at me with huge eyes when I said that I live in the United States. She asked me how long I was going to be staying here and I told her that I have about three more months left. I stopped scrubbing because she looked at me with the huge eyes again. That’s when she turned serious and said, “Shearin, don’t go.” I guess it startled me because I wasn‘t expecting that from her. It wasn’t close enough to my departure date for them to be saying things like that. I told her that I have to go back to study and she said it again. She reminded me that there were places to study in Honduras. I almost died. What was I supposed to say to her? All I said was that I would try to visit and that I will cry very hard when I have to go. Thankfully some of her friends found her and pulled her away right at that moment. I didn’t know what else to say to her. I was so sad. I figured that if I feel this way now, I’m going to be a wreck in three months. Wish me luck.

February 24

I have about 3 months left and I’m not sure if I’m excited or not. Some days when the kids have been terrible and I feel like crying, I start thinking about how great it is going to be when I get home. Then there are other days when I feel like something’s working with the kids and my brain begins to clear. I realize that all these things I’m going through are breaking me and building me up to be stronger than I ever was. Today I had to wash a lot of the kids’ school uniforms because they were filthy (the word filthy is an understatement, the dirt cannot be removed no matter how long and hard I scrub). I washed them all by hand in extremely hot humid weather. There I was drenched in sweat in the little mosquito infested laundry hut and I thought about how I would feel if I had to do this every day for the rest of my life. That’s when one of the younger boys walked in shyly. He asked me if I would wash his uniform too. I took his uniform which was beyond the cure of soap and I smiled at him. These kids need people to take care of them. I feel like even though all I did today was wash clothes and pick out ridiculous amounts of lice, God’s teaching me that it’s making a difference. Everything we do should be done to the best of our abilities no matter how small the task. When people see that, they’ll know there’s something different in you. Let me tell you, it is very hard for me to follow that advice. I feel like I’m always getting frustrated and angry at the kids and I don’t do everything the best I can. Nonetheless, I will definitely continue to try… and hopefully the kids will see that they are loved, not just by Tarynn and me, but more importantly by God.

February 16, 2010

I’ve been trying to open up my blogs that I made for Christmas time, but they don’t work anymore. So I’ll give you a short summary. One of the volunteers had their parents visiting and their church donated new clothes for all the kids here at the Hogar. The night before Christmas Eve, we stayed up wrapping the clothes up for the kids. It was a really fun night. We were all super excited to give the presents to the kids. Christmas Eve came and Maria Jose and Txus took the kids into the cafeteria to play some “games.” They weren’t supposed to get Christmas presents this year, but thanks to Hannah’s church, they were able to. While Maria Jose and Txus were distracting them, we were loading all of their gifts into a wheelbarrow and we put on our costumes. Hannah dressed as an elf and the rest of us were reindeer. The second we walked into the cafeteria, everyone broke out in cheers. Some kids jumped out of their seats and ran to meet us. That was the best Christmas I’ve had. Seeing those kids react like that was such an amazing feeling. I felt like a mother. All I wanted to do was see them open their presents and watch them jump with excitement when they saw their new shirt or their new cleats. I didn’t need or want anything else. It was great. After that, the kids went outside and lit some firecrackers. It was fun watching, but , I decided to go to bed before I collapsed. The next day, it was great. No one had to wake up early and we didn’t have to make the kids do any chores. The kids still woke up early and woke me up, but it wasn’t as loud as it normally was. Breakfast was on the kitchen counter and we could eat whenever we felt like it. The kids played soccer for a lot of the day and I relaxed. It was a very very very good day.

February 3, 2010

The other day, Tarynn and I arrived at the Infa and found that Yesmin was crying. I asked what was going on, but Yesmin refused to fit words between her sobs and the other kids hadn’t been able to tell me either. Finally Isabel explained that last night, she was bit by a bug and her arm was swelling. Isabel wrote me a note for the doctor and I rushed her over to the clinic. Her sister had caught the bug and she put it in a jar. I was so scared for Yesmin because her arm looked so swollen and there was a dark spot where the bug bit her. We sat in the waiting room for a while and I was uncomfortable until Yesmin finally started relaxing. After some time, she said that it was feeling better… but her arm was still extremely swollen and it still hurt a little. Do you remember the doctor that cut off whatever it was that Laura had in her thumb? Do you remember how sketchy he was? Well, the same one ended up looking at Yesmin’s arm. It made me nervous, but I’m not sure if he helps the kids for free, so I prayed for the best. We went into his office and he was eating a doughnut. He asked her some questions and then he took medicine, put some bottled water in it and mixed it around. Then he took another bottle of medicine and poured the first bottle into the second. He spilled some on the desk and some on the chair and just wiped it off with his doughnut napkin. Then he put some of the medicine in a spoon and gave it to Yesmin. After she took it, he stuffed the spoon into a box of medicne and gave it to her. He said after she takes the medicine for a month, she has to go to the hospital to take a test (does he seem sketchy to anyone else too? … thankfully she seemed to be doing better the rest of the day). She wanted to see her mom afterwards and so I took her to the restaurant that her mom worked at. Her mom gave me a guava drink and because I was ready to start cooking on my skin, I accepted. When I was heading back to the Infa, I saw two brothers, Christian and Hector, who used to go to the Infa. They’re definitely kids that need to go and so I asked them to come with me to the Infa. After bribing them with my drink and chocolate that my family gave me to pass out, Hector agreed to come. Christian, on the other hand, said that he did not want to go and ran the other way down some street. Hector said that one of the other boys told them they weren’t aloud to go back to the Infa. That made me angry, but I figured I could deal with it later. At least Hector is coming now. Sometimes we’ve heard that volunteers have resorted to bribing the kids to come and I’m not against the idea at all. They need to come and I’ve got the chocolate to encourage that to happen.

February 2, 2009

I know, I know. It’s been a long time. I have an excuse . My computer decided to give up on this whole Honduras thing. It proved to be more out of shape than I am and refuses to turn it’s screen on. And because I’d rather not spend the money to be on the internet for long periods of time, I just neglected my blog altogether… but good news! My parents have come to visit me and my dad is letting me use his laptop while I’m here so my period of neglect is over and I’ll be typing more novels for you to read… at least I’ll try to.

This past month has been a little problematic. Tarynn and I have been having issues at the Infa and we‘ve both been stressed. I don’t want to go into all the details but after we’ve had a few meetings, we’re hoping things will get better. I just want to ask that you keep us and the Infa in your prayers.

On to the happier things.

My parents are here!! This means many things. This means that I’m going to gain half of my body weight in these two weeks because of all the wonderful goodies they’ve brought. This also means that I’m actually taking a vacation! Horray! I’m going off with my family for 6 days to different places here on Honduras. While I’m bubbling with happiness, I also feel guilty for leaving Tarynn and the kids for so long. I’ve signed up for this, and I just feel like vacations are unnecessary. Also, I’m nervous how this is going to affect me when they leave. I’m scared that homesickness may come hunt me down, but I guess I can’t worry about it now.

I want you all to know that I’ve been working on my drawing skills, although instead of getting better, it‘s slowly gotten worse. Everyday, the kids beg us to let them color (thanks to a friend of Tarynn’s we have a little crate full of colors). I used to cherish coloring time, but recently things have changed. When coloring was peaceful, the kids would draw house after house after house with their interesting color combinations. The orange and purple house is a crowd favorite and there‘s always a blue dog or rainbow colored cat thrown into the mix to make the picture complete. Then when the Christmas season came, coloring time was changed forever. In an ignorant attempt to broaden their horizons, I decided that I would draw them Christmas trees to color. I did not realize that that was the end of my peaceful color time. The kids began to ask for different pictures. At first, this was great and I thought it would be fun, but you know how many of us are, we tend to steer towards what we’re used to. They went back to drawing the same things over and over again, but this time they weren’t drawing it… I was. I drew countless Christmas trees and Santas for them to color and instead of getting better every time, they‘ve slowly gotten worse. Thankfully the kids don’t notice and they look at their Christmas tree that has a hint of resemblance to the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and they smile as if they had never seen anything so beautiful. I’m very thankful for that. The Christmas season lasted a lot longer than it should have and I was drawing Christmas trees and Santas way past Christmas. I figured that I’d try to change things up again. Currently, I’m drawing princes on horses fighting dragons for the boys and Cinderella and her carriage for the girls. Cinderella has quickly found her way to being my least favorite Disney character ever. Thankfully the girls still love her with her crooked face and deformed carriage.

January 10

hello my friends!!! okay, so I can´t find the thumb drive with my saved blog entries... so stay in tuned. when I find it, I will post it.... there are always kids in and out of our room jumping on our beds and touching everything... it could be anywhere.

but everything´s going well! Don´t stop praying for me! I need it!